Greentext

Im not going to dispute the reality that doing whatever you want on your own property, assuming its large enough that youre basically alone, is kind of de facto legal in the sense that you most likely wont get in trouble for doing it.

But, that doesnt make it actually legal. The way that most state laws on DUIs are written you can get a DUI doing a lot of things that are nothing like driving a car on a public roadway.

One example: a Zamboni DUI in Fargo, ND where the defense contested that you cant get a DUI on a zam under state law

Defense attorney Lindsey Haugen said during the bench trial Tuesday that the law is not clear whether a Zamboni is considered a vehicle, or whether it is illegal to drive the machine on the ice while drunk. He also said witnesses are hazy on whether Anderson drove the Zamboni on a road behind the arena to dump ice or whether that road was accessible to other vehicles.

But Municipal Court Judge Stephen Dawson said state law is written to include vehicles "such as" a Zamboni.

Afterward, Haugen said his research of DUI law found specific vehicles such as tractors, snowmobiles, recreational vehicles and boats, but he found no references to a Zamboni.

Looking at this, you can clearly see that the law in ND outlines a ton of stuff that tends to happen on private (or otherwise closed) property and not on a roadway using a car. Boating is an obvious example since its in the water, but recreational vehicles definitely refers to ATVs and side by sides or whatever they call them. Tractors are driven on roadways sometimes but obviously most of their use is on private land. Snowmobiling also doesnt occur on open roadways, and at most occasionally crosses them.

If a snowmobiler is drunk and hits a snowshoer or crashes on a privately owned mountain, they still will get a DUI. If a guy operates a zamboni drunk in a private non-profit ice rink they still get a DUI. If you got drunk and went go-karting you could get a DUI.

If you get wasted and do donuts on your own private field, whether in a snowmobile, a truck, or a zamboni, legally you could definitely get a DUI. But you wouldn’t probably get one. There is a worthwhile distinction to be made there. If you and a friend get wasted and take the ‘boni out to whip shitties in your private field, but he flies off and dies, you’re definitely getting a DUI in the investigation of that death

It’s all very “if a tree drives drunk in the middle of a forest, but no one is around to see it, is it a DUI?” The answer is still yes, or at least it would be in a world where trees drive cars