this post was submitted on 12 May 2024
450 points (97.3% liked)
Greentext
4437 readers
874 users here now
This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
- Anon is often crazy.
- Anon is often depressed.
- Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
A Buddhist monk walks up to a hot dog stand. The vendor says "what would you like on your dog buddy?" The monk thinks for a moment and then says "make me one with everything"
The hot dog vendor says that will be $7.50. The monkey hands the vendor a $10 bill, which the vendor puts in the cash drawer. After a moment the monk asks "what about my change?" The vendor bows reverently and responds "change must come from within."
Not about to be swindled, the monk the pulls a gun from within his robe. "What's that?!" the startled vendor asks. "Ah," replies the monk, "this is my inner piece."
I’m imagining the monk played by Samuel L. Jackson
Not enough mother fuckers.
Who plays the monkey?
Some Xavier tier writing in here
The monk pulls out a gun and points it at the hot dog vendor.
The hot dog vendor exclaims "Whoa, whoa, whoa, I thought you guys were all about inner peace and stuff?"
The monk replies "this is my inner piece"
I died
enlightenment unlocked
"Buy a season pass to unlock enlightenment and other perks on day one!"
Buy a yearly pass to get 50% off Perks:
Day 1 enlightenment
Always on right side of the dual justice system
Hedgefund deposits and inherit home when you reach level 18
Only deal with 1st world problems
Someone else pays your taxes
So if a monkey pays for your hot dog, always round up to the next $10 increment for charity.
The Dalai Lama didn't get it
It's because he changed it to a pizza shop. If he had said "hot dog stand" that old man would have been ROLLING with laughter!
This is the single best Buddhism joke ever created.
The vendor answered: “stop with that non-dualist shit. What do you want on hot dog?”
How about some Dichotomy then?