this post was submitted on 14 Jun 2024
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A British man is ridiculously attempting to sue Apple following a divorce, caused by his wife finding messages to a prostitute he deleted from his iPhone that were still accessible on an iMac. 

In the last years of his marriage, a man referred to as "Richard" started to use the services of prostitutes, without his wife's knowledge. To try and keep the communications secret, he used iMessages on his iPhone, but then deleted the messages. 

Despite being careful on his iPhone to cover his tracks, he didn't count on Apple's ecosystem automatically synchronizing his messaging history with the family iMac. Apparently, he wasn't careful enough to use Family Sharing for iCloud, or discrete user accounts on the Mac.

The Times reports the wife saw the message when she opened iMessage on the iMac. She also saw years of messages to prostitutes, revealing a long period of infidelity by her husband.

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[–] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 79 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (2 children)

I know this wasn't iMessage per se (altho its par for the course for that curs-ed app) but this serves as a good reminder for posterity.

Its actually one of the issues with iCloud and the signin process because if you do the normal thing trying to sign into your account anywhere outside of AppStore, it automaticaly opts you in to iCloud and its showtime for all your data in terms of transit and restoring it and activating all of the crappy, leaky things like iMessage and Backup in addition to all 500+ apps you have that automatically synced themself the moment you opened and all times you used them if you didn't de-toggle and delete whatever it shared up to that point

[–] deranger@sh.itjust.works 37 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (3 children)

All he had to do was put his wife on a different account on the Mac or use another messenger on his phone. I don’t see iMessage as being “leaky” in this instance. His messages didn’t appear anywhere they weren’t supposed to from a technical perspective. He used the same account on the Mac and iPhone, syncing messages worked as advertised. I’d expect this to happen with any message sync feature, it’s not iMessage specific.

It’s like complaining that your wife found out your were cheating because you used FB messenger, yet didn’t create a separate login for your wife on your Linux desktop, and the sole account’s web browser is logged in to your Facebook. He fucked up, that’s poor computer security to let someone else use your account. A major Mac feature is a lot of activity is easily shared across devices you’re logged into. Photos, messages, calendar, reminders, all sorts of things. This tells me to be careful where I log in with my iCloud account and who uses it. Why would you not have a separate login for your wife, especially if you’re fucking around on her and she regularly uses that computer?

[–] catloaf@lemm.ee 52 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Guy's an idiot for sure, but I would expect a delete action to sync as well. Why does a creation sync but not a deletion?

[–] deranger@sh.itjust.works 17 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Good question. It should sync deletes per their support article, and that’s my experience with iMessages. Wonder if this was an SMS conversation and it only delivers to multiple devices, but doesn’t actually sync SMS like it does iMessages.

If you use Messages in iCloud, deleting a message or conversation on your Mac deletes it from all your devices where Messages in iCloud is on.

https://support.apple.com/en-in/guide/iphone/iph2c9c4bfcb/ios

[–] Revan343@lemmy.ca 8 points 5 months ago

If you use Messages in iCloud, deleting a message or conversation on your Mac deletes it from all your devices where Messages in iCloud is on.

Technically that doesn't say that deleting them from your phone will delete it from the backup on your Mac

[–] Tenthrow@lemmy.world 7 points 5 months ago (1 children)

And it would definitely be SMS if the prostitutes were using Android.

[–] disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world 1 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

SMS forwards and syncs through the Messages app if you enable it in iCloud. If he was getting the “Sign into iCloud” prompt to reauthenticate his Mac any point in time after the message was synced, and they were just hitting cancel, it would suspend sync and deletion.

[–] Fisch@discuss.tchncs.de 11 points 5 months ago

I think that's the one thing Apple did wrong here. The way it seems to work currently, I would have to manually delete the same message from each device one after another. That's stupid.

[–] Maeve@sh.itjust.works -3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Because it deleted from the cloud, the synced message is already on the device. Once there's a digital copy, it's like a carbon physical copy. Just because you shred the white and yellow copy doesn't mean you've shredded the yellow copy in the file cabinet you forgot about.

[–] catloaf@lemm.ee 11 points 5 months ago (1 children)

That doesn't explain why they can't sync a deletion.

[–] Nougat@fedia.io 17 points 5 months ago

This is 100% "I don't understand technology, so it's all Apple's fault!"

[–] ichbinjasokreativ@lemmy.world 11 points 5 months ago (3 children)

I don't like apple either, but in this case you're right. I have signal on my phone and on my linux machines, if I share those computers with someone else and let them use the same user, they can open signal and see my messages. The guy in the article is an idiot.

[–] thefactremains@lemmy.world 15 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Doesn't the deletion of a conversation propagate to all devices though?

That's what didn't happen here that this guy apparently assumed did happen

[–] ichbinjasokreativ@lemmy.world 1 points 5 months ago

Signal asks if you want to delete a message on all devices, incauding the recipients, or only on the current device.

[–] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 8 points 5 months ago (1 children)

If you had deleted in Signal that would sync right away before it visually rendered all the contacts and message content. False equivalence

[–] ichbinjasokreativ@lemmy.world 1 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Fair point. Signal would ask me if I want to delete on this device only or on all devices though, does iMessage do that too?

[–] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 1 points 5 months ago

I don't think that's the case, I believe its either

  1. Delete for me
  2. Delete for everyone

Delete for me inherently deletes for your associated devices using that Signal account

[–] deranger@sh.itjust.works 5 points 5 months ago (2 children)

I use Signal as well and that’s what came to mind. Let’s assume I cheated on my wife and hired prostitutes using Signal on my phone. She could use my Windows PC, open Signal there, then see the cheater texts. This isn’t the fault of Signal, Apple, or Microsoft. It did the thing I asked it to do - sync messages. I would have fucked up by letting someone use my Windows login.

Good thing we don’t share accounts, aside from some very short term usage. That’s just a bad idea, even if it’s little personalization type things. Not messaging hookers probably goes a long way too.

[–] Crismus@lemmy.world 7 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I think the issue comes that it only syncs messages one way and doesn't sync on deletions. Apple should have messages that are removed from all devices when removed from the phone, but it didn't remove messages when deleted.

Sure the guy is a moron for being a cheater and scumbag, but Apple should remove deleted messages. That's a privacy problem with Apple's sync. I don't use Apple devices due to other Apple crap, but setting up iCloud sync should have a warning when items won't be deleted and only will be downloaded to devices.

Wasn't an entire stupid movie about the horrible sync pitfalls in Apple devices premiered years ago?

[–] Maeve@sh.itjust.works 1 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Why? My laptop has more storage than my phone. Sometimes I need to save a conversation for future reference, and want photos on my laptop where I have more storage, not on my phone.

[–] Crismus@lemmy.world 2 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Sorry I'm late, but I would say that that case means a system should have rules to define when and where the majority of the files are at. Or at least a defined way to declare which system is one-way, and which is two-way.

The old Google Calendar system had that flag, so I find it strange that Apple wouldn't, unless they really want to push the iCloud data Subscription model.

[–] Maeve@sh.itjust.works 0 points 5 months ago

Well it worked with me, because I paid it.

[–] Ghostalmedia@lemmy.world 11 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Isn’t messages in iCloud off by default? I feel like I had to actively enable this in a preference panel.

[–] fuckwit_mcbumcrumble@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I think it's changed recently. Even if you have icloud messaging on you used to have to explicitly turn it on per device. But I recently got a new iPad and when I went to check that setting it was already on.

[–] Ghostalmedia@lemmy.world 1 points 5 months ago (2 children)

iPad / iOS I think is on by default, but not macOS. Maybe I’m wrong though.

[–] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 3 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

It does that for Mac too. They do it for all devices I believe altho I can't speak to Watch or the glasses. Likely so for them to be consistent but can comment outside of conjecture

Anywhere outside of AppStore signin, you're basically getting factory defaults which is

  • iMessage
  • Facetime
  • iCloud Backup
  • All your apps that onky have opt-out iCloud sync
  • ...
[–] FordBeeblebrox@lemmy.world 4 points 5 months ago

Just wiped and installed Sonoma on a MacBook, can confirm it defaults to on when you sign in with your Apple ID. Handoff is nice and all but I don’t need every device in the room dinging when the local car wash sends me a spam text. The watch is iffy, it mirrors the phone settings but sometimes my phone dings and sometimes my wrist does, not entirely sure why.

[–] Maeve@sh.itjust.works 1 points 5 months ago

I had to turn it on, but that was a 6s. Currently running android without much storage and I'm loathe to back up to cloud, unless it's business that doesn't require extra privacy, but may needed as a reference, later.

[–] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 1 points 5 months ago

You are mistaken at least as of the present and even a while back. They reset all defaults everytime you log into iCloud, its likely an attempt to discourage logging out