this post was submitted on 09 Dec 2023
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[–] javasux@lemmy.world 90 points 11 months ago (2 children)

If she likes you and your height is a problem, she didn't actually like you

[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 8 points 11 months ago

Yeah and undoubtedly that sucks

[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 5 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Obviously. It's just frustrating that being short is a dealbreaker for so many women. Even women who are significantly shorter than 5'5.5" will often refuse to consider a guy of that height.

So, a short guy will never even get to the stage where "she likes you" is even a consideration, because the height filter rules them out of contention. Personality, fitness, sense of humour, etc. are all irrelevant because your parents happened to be short.

[–] crackajack@reddthat.com 14 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Dude, I have seen plenty of short men date good looking women. It's about confidence and charisma.

[–] SuperSaiyanSwag@lemmy.zip 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I seriously did not know this was an issue until I saw it being talked about on online forums.

[–] crackajack@reddthat.com 2 points 11 months ago

I just explained it to another user that it could be population sampling bias because he could be in a place where people's average height is tall for other places. I guess where I live, our height varies greatly despite the country's average height is 5'9" according to Wikipedia. There are plenty of tall people over 5'5" but so are under.

[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Yes, and there have been "plenty" of short NBA players too. That doesn't change the fact that height is a massive advantage.

[–] crackajack@reddthat.com 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Height confers advantage except dating is not NBA (and there are different sports where height is not a game changer like soccer but I don't want to make dating like a trivial game). If you let negative externalities get into your head, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy because it will always show. Women (and men) are not attracted to low self-esteem. Self-confidence attracts. Find a person who likes you for being you.

[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 1 points 11 months ago (1 children)

That's nice, but you're pretending it's not a real problem when it is a real problem.

[–] crackajack@reddthat.com 1 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Only how you react is what you can control. You can choose self-pity, but what good does it do to yourself?

A woman rejects you, sure. You're berated for being short. But you're caring about the negativity of those who don't care about you. You're letting them live rent-free in your mind when they let go of you already. There are 8 billion people in the world and only those who cares about you matters, and not those who reject you for arbitrary, shallow reasons.

Just saying, there are less good looking and shorter men out there who has more luck than you and I. It doesn't matter if they are settling down for less, or the guy has more money. If they can do it, you can! It is easier said than done, but it is about the state of mind. Have you been with a person who is always negative and/or uninteresting? How did you you feel being around with that person? Would you like to be with that person again? Low self-esteem always shows no matter how hard a person tries to hide it and it is a turn off, wouldn't you agree? Do you like a confident partner? And likewise, they want a confident you.

[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 1 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Yes, and there are a few NBA players who are under 5'5", but that doesn't mean that there isn't a huge advantage to being tall.

[–] crackajack@reddthat.com 1 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Why play basketball, when you can play other sports?

Play to your advantages.

[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 1 points 11 months ago (1 children)

So... become gay? But, gay men are just as bad.

[–] crackajack@reddthat.com 1 points 11 months ago

You got plenty to learn ;)

[–] vivadanang@lemm.ee 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)

if you think being short is hard, try being ugly.

I do feel for the folks working against both.

[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

At least with ugliness, it's easy to understand the problem.

[–] vivadanang@lemm.ee 4 points 11 months ago
[–] KevonLooney@lemm.ee -1 points 11 months ago (1 children)

That's not true. It's just one factor. Most of the men in the world are 5'5" poor dudes. It's not money or height.

[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

It's one critical factor that, because it's a number is easy to use as a filter.

I don't know about "most of the men in the world" being 5'5". It may be an average if you count a lot of developing countries with poor nutrition. But, among developed countries it's a lot more than that. Even Japan, which is known for smaller people, has 172 cm (5'7.5") as the average.

[–] KevonLooney@lemm.ee 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

The average person lives in a developing country with poor nutrition.