this post was submitted on 10 Jan 2024
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Not The Onion

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Workplace well-being initiatives don't boost employee mental health (www.newscientist.com)
submitted 10 months ago by fossilesque@mander.xyz to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world
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[–] TheAgeOfSuperboredom@lemmy.ca 126 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Beatings will continue until morale improves

[–] ryan213@lemmy.ca 59 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Here, have a slice of pizza.

[–] thefartographer@lemm.ee 49 points 10 months ago (1 children)

My boss bought me pizza once! It wasn't as good as the pizzas I used to buy myself, but who can afford non-work-pizza anymore?

I think work-pizza is making my teeth hurt, but my ex-dentist is all like "tell your job to pay me."

Hey, do any of y'all wake up crying, too? My boss says it's allergies in my home; my boss is so nice, they'll even let me stay at work extra-long so I don't have to deal with my home-allergies and they only need me to do extra work without telling anyone in exchange!

Anyway, I don't love work-pizza, but it's better than waking up crying!

Whoops! Another tooth fell out... I bet the new ones are gonna look beautiful when they grow back in like my boss said they will.

[–] troyunrau@lemmy.ca 21 points 10 months ago (1 children)

The writers for Outer Worlds are here folks ;)

[–] thefartographer@lemm.ee 19 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Oh wow! You think my writing is good enough that people might think I'm semi-literate??? Of all the replies I've ever received, this is definitely one of them, and I'll likely sometimes remember it!

[–] OneOrTheOtherDontAskMe@lemmy.world 8 points 10 months ago

One doesn't professionally chart flatulence without gaining some literacy

[–] wabafee@lemmy.world 13 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Oh by the way this is deducted from your salary. Enjoy!