this post was submitted on 05 Apr 2024
168 points (93.8% liked)

Not The Onion

12344 readers
784 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

cross-posted from: https://feddit.uk/post/10087746

‘I really wasn’t worried’: US man was getting vasectomy as earthquake struck

If one has to consider one of the most chaotic places to be during an earthquake, the operating table of your own vasectomy is surely up there on the list.

For Justin Allen from Horsham, Pennsylvania, this was his exact reality on Friday when the New York City metropolitan area and its outskirts were shaken by a 4.8 quake. The earthquake was centered near Lebanon, New Jersey, according to the US Geological Survey, though people reported feeling its effects across New York, Connecticut, Massachusetts, and Pennsylvania.

“I thought maybe a train was passing by or it was just something that happens at that office, even when the doctor was like ‘I think this is an earthquake.’ I figured he was messing with me, but he had to stop because everything was shaking,” Allen told the Guardian.

Allen said the doctor operating on him “put the tools down for a moment”.

top 16 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Windex007@lemmy.world 78 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

When I was in high school there was a barely perceptible quake that occurred the moment I whipped out my donger at a urinal.

I'm not saying it was the cause, I'm just saying the events coincided exactly and that our northern AB town had never before and never since registered seismic activity.

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 26 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Must have done wonders for your confidence 😄

[–] Windex007@lemmy.world 45 points 7 months ago (1 children)

It was 20 years ago and I'm still talking about it even when nobody is asking so ya

[–] volvoxvsmarla@lemm.ee 18 points 7 months ago

That's actually a great story and I will keep it close to my heart

[–] doingthestuff@lemmy.world 13 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Fun fact about vasectomies - you never hear much about the 1% worst cases but some people are in pain for the rest of their lives. I'm almost the 1%. It has been hell for 13 years. It doesn't hurt every day and it doesn't give me problems with an erection every day, but sometimes it still does.

[–] Pretzilla@lemmy.world 14 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Dude it shouldn't. Go see an urologist. It's probably fixable.

[–] Fosheze@lemmy.world 7 points 7 months ago

The pain is caused by chronic epididymitis because sperm gets blocked up in the epididymus. The fix is surgically removing the epididymus which is not nearly as straightforward as the initial vasectomy, has a much larger chance of complications, and a much more miserable recovery period. If the pain is ocasional (which it is for most guys with this issue) then usually your best bet is just ignoring it. For OP the surgery might be worthwhile though.

[–] wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

Can I ask how or maybe where it is painful? Obviously feel free to not respond if that's too personal for your comfort.

[–] Fosheze@lemmy.world 3 points 7 months ago

It's usually epididymitis which is a swelling of the epididymus which is the sack attached to the testicles that stores sperm. Basically, after the vasectomy, sperm can't be expelled in the typical manner anymore but the body will keep producing it regardless so it has to break it down reabsorb it; if for some reason sperm is being prodiced faster than it is being broken down then it starts to back up and cause swelling in the epydidymus which is painful. How painful it is is going to vary a lot depending on the person. I've had a vasectomy and I ocasionally get pain from it. Just every once in a while (averaging about once a month) my balls ache with pain that rates between 2/10 and 4/10. Usually it doesn't even last a full day but sometimes it lasts up to a week. Even knowing about this I still would have chosen to get a vasectomy.

[–] wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 10 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (2 children)

Imagine if they goofed up, and the result was the opposite of what is intended, and he just starts cumming by the gallons from now on. What a goof!

[–] Rentlar@lemmy.ca 19 points 7 months ago

Sir I think you set my balls to Wumbo instead of Mini.

[–] Bdtrngl@lemmy.world 14 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Thaaaats not what a vasectomy does but it does paint a vivid mental image.

[–] wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 9 points 7 months ago

Hold on, I'll DM you a video of what I mean.

[–] Mr_Blott@lemmy.world 9 points 7 months ago

Slow news day at The Gruniard then?

[–] numberfour002@lemmy.world 7 points 7 months ago (1 children)