this post was submitted on 24 Sep 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works
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Anon has a lucid dream (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 10 months ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works
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[–] JusticeForPorygon@lemmy.world 116 points 10 months ago (2 children)

If God is real he'd have let me stay illiterate

[–] Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works 48 points 10 months ago (1 children)

God doesn't come around these parts

[–] Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 37 points 10 months ago

I do. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[–] drolex@sopuli.xyz 18 points 10 months ago

God is infinitely groovy and infinitely funky, but the Bible forgot to tell you that he is also infinitely getting dividends from his shares of Penguin Books, so he has a stake in this.

[–] Wanderer@lemm.ee 85 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Fake but at least it isn't gay.

[–] cheddar@programming.dev 48 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

touches tits

has a seizure because of that

Gay AF. His body rejected a girl.

[–] MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works 44 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Anon is femanon, very gay indeed.

[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 23 points 10 months ago

No such thing

[–] atro_city@fedia.io 6 points 10 months ago

There are no women on the internet bud.

[–] r00ty@kbin.life 85 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Lucid dream rookie! If the lucid dream happens, and you're in the same place you fell asleep, well actually if that happens the majority of the time it will become a sleep paralysis episode. But, if it isn't, always teleport yourself the fuck away from the location.

Ain't no way you want to risk that you're too close to being awake (or in this case not asleep at all). I'd wager anon fell asleep, woke up but was having a hypnopompic hallucination, and that explains the text on the board.

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 33 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I just assumed he was in some foreign language class.

[–] HeavyRaptor@lemmy.zip 56 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Or just algebra

[–] pkmkdz@sh.itjust.works 16 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Easiest way to know if you're lucid dreaming is to try some magic abilities. I usually try flying out of the window from room I were. This hasn't failed me yet. And anon definitely wouldn't get into this awkward situation with this either.

(only half of this is a joke)

[–] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 14 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

Until you jump out of the window and land face first on concrete

[–] general_kitten@sopuli.xyz 9 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Thats why you just levitate a meter or so from the floor

[–] pewgar_seemsimandroid@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 9 months ago

i prefer shitting to the moon

[–] rand_alpha19@moist.catsweat.com 53 points 10 months ago

So I'm supposed to believe that OP didn't kill himself right after this happened? Guys, I think this story is fake.

[–] Maldreamer@lemmy.world 32 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Meh, He should have done a reality check in the first place before doing anything

[–] gentooer@programming.dev 31 points 9 months ago

He did. It was just a poor choice of reality check.

[–] TxzK@lemmy.zip 25 points 10 months ago

This would've gone a lot better if anon simply apologised and explained that he was half-asleep. But no, they just had to make it more akward.

[–] psycho_driver@lemmy.world 23 points 10 months ago

At least Anon got to feel a boob. It might be a while.

[–] AsudoxDev@programming.dev 6 points 10 months ago

Imagine if this was real. Funny af