this post was submitted on 07 Jan 2024
174 points (86.6% liked)

Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] zazo@lemmy.world 73 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Ah yes, the love of anon's life - the chick that fucks random dudes in a frat house toilet, and they say romance isn't real 😍

[–] Mycatiskai@lemmy.ca 14 points 10 months ago

Back when I was in my early 20s my friends girlfriend tried to set me up with her friend, her selling point to me was that she fucked two dudes in the back of a biker bar the previous weekend.

I passed on that really fast, I was also mighty impressed with his girlfriends opinion of me.

[–] umulu@lemmy.world 4 points 10 months ago

πŸ˜‚ astonishing the amount of shit people think they're "missing out"

[–] kromem@lemmy.world 70 points 10 months ago (1 children)

This guy thinking that girl would have fucked him if only he kept playing FIFA is like the RIAA decades ago thinking I would have bought the CD for an mp3 I downloaded if only there wasn't Napster.

[–] watersnipje@lemmy.blahaj.zone 41 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Napster? Here, take my seat, I can stand.

[–] kromem@lemmy.world 18 points 10 months ago

Thank you, sonny. Here, have a nickel and go get yourself something nice from the candy store.

[–] Illecors@lemmy.cafe 34 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Is there a prerequsite for greentext to be completely made up?

[–] spudwart@spudwart.com 37 points 10 months ago

Plays LoL and life is ruined, seems legit to me. /jk

[–] smeg@feddit.uk 15 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Yes, have you ever seen a single one that seemed true?

[–] MindSkipperBro12@lemmy.world 37 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] smeg@feddit.uk 18 points 10 months ago

OK fair, that's the only true one

[–] Illecors@lemmy.cafe 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I've only joined this sub a few days ago, so, I guess, no :(

[–] smeg@feddit.uk 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Just enjoy the silly stories, they're all made up (just like every post on the internet)

[–] Illecors@lemmy.cafe 2 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Would a post saying every post is made up break the universe, then? 😁

[–] smeg@feddit.uk 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Assuming that the universe is a simulation being run by a robot that can't parse logical paradoxes, yes

[–] radix@lemm.ee 2 points 10 months ago

What a waste of a robot, to parse internet content instead of just serve it. Insanity would be a reprieve.

[–] papabobolious@feddit.nu 1 points 10 months ago

It's part of the adventure

[–] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 32 points 10 months ago

Anon plays one game on his PC for years and years and blames his mom for it lmao

[–] Scubus@sh.itjust.works 17 points 10 months ago

Bruh if your life was dependant on FIFA you lost from day 1

[–] Oni_eyes@sh.itjust.works 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Isn't Fifa cross platform?

[–] thatgirlwasfire@lemmy.world 16 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Yes, but cross platform multiplayer is a recent thing. So he’d have to play only with other PC FIFA players

[–] Oni_eyes@sh.itjust.works 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] thatgirlwasfire@lemmy.world 8 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

Yes. The PS3 launched in 2006, that isnt very recent. This wikipedia article says that while there were a few dreamcast games with crossplay, Overwatch (PS4) seemed to start the modern crossplay trend.

[–] Oni_eyes@sh.itjust.works 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Well fuck me, I'm getting old

[–] LUHG_HANI@lemmy.world 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Only the new FIFA 24 is cross play and it's not even called FIFA anymore. Yes, we are getting old.

[–] Oni_eyes@sh.itjust.works 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Wait what. What's it called now?

[–] LUHG_HANI@lemmy.world 4 points 10 months ago

FC 24. EA didn't want to pay FIFA for the naming rights as they asked for a ridiculous amount of money.