this post was submitted on 07 Feb 2025
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Not The Onion

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[–] Duamerthrax@lemmy.world 37 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

They can. It's called Work From Home.

[–] johnlukepeckard@lemm.ee 1 points 3 hours ago

That’s why they can’t

[–] Badeendje@lemmy.world 37 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

And pay them with company specific crypto they can spend in the company store.

[–] Sculptor9157@sh.itjust.works 12 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

You push 16 branches, and what do you Git?

[–] uthredii@programming.dev 10 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Another day older and more tech debt

[–] mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 6 points 4 hours ago

@saint_peter don't you page me, 'cause I crashed the repo----

I owe my soul

to the bezostore

[–] Maalus@lemmy.world 6 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

That's what happened here. The mines gave apartments to the miners. The higher ups lived in better ones etc. Worked out well till the mines weren't profitable anymore

[–] corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca 5 points 12 hours ago (3 children)
[–] sik0fewl@lemmy.ca 2 points 9 hours ago

Can I pay in company scrips?

[–] Maalus@lemmy.world 2 points 11 hours ago

Nah, Europe isn't as ducked as the US, the apartments just went to them and the city moved away from mining

[–] possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip 5 points 13 hours ago

This reminds me of the Onion episode where the staff from two different car manufacturing plants fight for there jobs.

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 44 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Oh, for fuck's sake. I started reading this thinking it was satire, and after it just kept going did I realize that this was serious, and not just some long-form ribbing.

[–] Gumus@lemmy.world 13 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

We really need a term opposite to "eat the onion".

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 22 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

I really shat the yam on that one.

[–] rovingnothing29@lemmy.world 5 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

I don't know. I think the opposite of an onion would be an orange not a yam.

[–] ettyblatant@lemmy.world 10 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago) (2 children)

Well the opposite of eat would be barf, so, "horked the orange"?

Edit: a word

[–] idiomaddict@lemmy.world 2 points 15 hours ago

I thought horking was snorting. Huh. I wonder whether that’s ever led to communication issues.

[–] rovingnothing29@lemmy.world 3 points 20 hours ago
[–] sylver_dragon@lemmy.world 64 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I owe my soul to the company store.....

[–] UndulyUnruly@lemmy.world 9 points 17 hours ago

Next stop, severance minus the outie part.

[–] P1k1e@lemmy.world 7 points 17 hours ago

SCP 001 : 05 the Factory

Corporations: "We will literally do anything to avoid giving our employees dedicated workspace where they can do their job uninterrupted."

[–] tal@lemmy.today 9 points 19 hours ago

It happens, sometimes, if you're hiring someone to work in a remote location. Oil rig workers, say.

[–] ChicoSuave@lemmy.world 24 points 23 hours ago

Company towns coming back as company apartments.

[–] TrueStoryBob@lemmy.world 10 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

"No, no, no, it's not a company town... it's a company tower... which is completely different. By the way, did you meet Brian? He's the new manager of the convenience store the company opened in the lobby. It's right next to the company elementary school. You can use the company issued script to buy stuff there, it's great!"

[–] ProfessorProteus@lemmy.world 5 points 20 hours ago

I'm sure it was your autocorrect, but for anyone who doesn't know it, the term is "scrip" :)

Wait, I should type :( because it's a very depressing concept.

[–] ThomasCrappersGhost@feddit.uk 8 points 20 hours ago

No. They are absolutely desperate to get people to return to office aren’t they?

I’ve said it many times now. The workhouses are coming back.

[–] vane@lemmy.world 6 points 19 hours ago

Why not let children live in womb ?

[–] HubertManne@moist.catsweat.com 7 points 20 hours ago (2 children)

I get the dystopia but if a company gave me an apartment in the city along with family healthcare where they pay 100% of medical costs. I would take minimum wage.

[–] Rivalarrival@lemmy.today 2 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

And your employer would own you. You couldn't afford to ever tell them "No".

[–] HubertManne@moist.catsweat.com 3 points 13 hours ago

are you kidding. I would be able to save more than ever before and have an easier time leaving.

[–] DampSquid@feddit.uk 1 points 14 hours ago (1 children)
[–] HubertManne@moist.catsweat.com 1 points 14 hours ago

I mean to get that I would need to make well over six figures to have all that.

[–] shoulderoforion@fedia.io 13 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

in the key of G "and I sold my soul to the company stoooooooore"

[–] glimse@lemmy.world 4 points 21 hours ago

Glad to see someone on the same page. I read the title and immediately thought SAINT PETER DONTCHA CALL ME 'CAUSE I CAN'T GOOOOOOO

[–] Naich@lemmings.world 10 points 23 hours ago (2 children)

Why not cut this slippery slope crap and just go straight to slavery?

[–] Samdell@lemmynsfw.com 21 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

they stopped themselves from being literally The Onion just in time

[–] limelight79@lemm.ee 7 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

I find it hard to believe he'd just table the idea at that point.

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 3 points 7 hours ago

After the employees realise it's just slaves

[–] HobbitFoot@thelemmy.club 8 points 23 hours ago (2 children)

Slaves are more expensive since you have to treat them as capital.

[–] ramble81@lemm.ee 2 points 21 hours ago

Nah, you generally can depreciate capitalized assets /s

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[–] mrfriki@lemmy.world 12 points 1 day ago

Sure, let me take a dump on your desk too.

[–] gonzo-rand19@moist.catsweat.com 6 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

To actually address the question, it's because commercial buildings don't (generally) meet residential building code requirements, even if there's a kitchenette and a shower, etc. They are simply not meant for the same purpose or to be occupied 24/7 unless they were engineered that way from the start, which is exceedingly rare. A lot of office buildings have floor-to-ceiling windows and complex HVAC systems simply to make sure people aren't cold, breathing stale air, or too humid/dry, so they also use a lot of energy.

[–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 2 points 10 hours ago

Also fire safety, if you have people sleeping in the building you need a much higher level of protection.

[–] Chozo@fedia.io 6 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

No, let them work from home.

[–] Steve@communick.news 8 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

That's the idea.
When the office becomes the home, they are working from home.

[–] ThomasCrappersGhost@feddit.uk 2 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

Do you want your office to be home?

[–] Steve@communick.news 2 points 18 hours ago

No. I like having two different places for work stuff and not work stuff.

[–] Spitfire@pawb.social 4 points 23 hours ago

Abso-fucking-lutely not.

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