this post was submitted on 22 Jul 2025
11 points (54.3% liked)

Not The Onion

17363 readers
1241 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
all 41 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Buffalox@lemmy.world 75 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (5 children)

Chances are, if your $9 before-tip beverage is iced and concocted with an alternative milk, you’re some semblance of queer.

WTF? How is this shit upvoted? Being sexist or racist for fun is not funny.
I suppose being not the Onion is fitting, but still...

I like this one:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lumumba_(drink)

[–] paultimate14@lemmy.world 23 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Not just that, but they even get the sexism and racism wrong. It's suburban, middle-class, straight white women who are supposed to be associated with $9 lattes.

[–] not_woody_shaw@lemmy.world 6 points 4 days ago

Hipsters were into overpriced coffee since before it was cool.

[–] Aatube@kbin.melroy.org 8 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[–] Buffalox@lemmy.world 6 points 5 days ago (2 children)

I'm not entirely sure that makes it OK.
That's kind of like saying a black slave owner would be OK when the white aren't.

[–] huppakee@feddit.nl 3 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Their audience is gay folk, them making a joke that might upset a straight person isn't a problem for them. I would totally call this within the limits of what should be accepted as innocent humor.

To be honest, i feel rejected as a gay person, not because of your comment directly but by all the upvotes your comment got and all the downvotes this post got. Not saying that's your fault becausr it is me taken something personal where i shouldn't, but can't really help it as it comes from leftover trauma caused by all the actually hurtful jokes of queer people i've encountered in my life.

[–] Buffalox@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago (1 children)

To be honest, i feel rejected as a gay person,

I am sorry to hear that, especially since the opposite was intended.
But if minorities want people to not stereotype them, they shouldn't do so themselves either.

Maybe it's meant as a joke on people doing that IDK, but very obviously when read without knowing the context, it looks really bad.
My guess is that the people who upvoted me, didn't know that context either.

Cheer up friend, the intentions were good.

[–] huppakee@feddit.nl 3 points 4 days ago

the intentions were good

Didn't doubt that and since there is no way of knowing the intentions of the people who up/ downvoted i'm assuming they meant no harm either. Also, it's not like I always know or understand the context either.

But if minorities want people to not stereotype them, they shouldn't do so themselves either.

It's a good thing you call them out on it. If it were some politician arguing on behalf of the diary industry saying 'people who drink plant-based milk are some semblance of queer' I'd be upset and would appreciate anyone speaking out so it would definitely speak of double standards if I blamed you on this one.

The reason I decided to write it down was more because I guess it's good if people (not necessarily you) realise they might not have gotten the vibe it was meant to be read in and think twice the next time. But at the same time I know understanding the context is not an easy thing to get right all the time, not for me at least. So it's all good.

[–] Aatube@kbin.melroy.org 4 points 5 days ago

i think it's more like saying a black person can use the Hard R

[–] huppakee@feddit.nl 8 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Not saying you can't be offended, but they don't mean 'you're some semblance of queer' in a negative or hurtful way. I read it as 'queer people are different to the norm, so are people who prefer plant-based milk'. I read their stuff regularly and to me they've never come across as sexist or rapist.

Them is the award-winning authority on what LGBTQ+ means today — and tomorrow. From in-depth storytelling on the fight for LGBTQ+ rights to intimate profiles of queer cultural vanguards, it’s a platform for all of the bold, stylish, and rebellious ways that LGBTQ+ people are reshaping our world every day.

[–] garbagebagel@lemmy.world 2 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Yeah they're a super queer friendly publication so it was definitely a tongue in cheek comment. I can see why outside of that context (and in the context of our current awful fucking world) it would be seen differently though.

[–] Nougat@fedia.io -2 points 5 days ago

Technically, all milk is plant-based.

[–] the_crotch@sh.itjust.works 5 points 5 days ago

I hope they have numbers to back that statement up or else it's problematic at best. And even if they do have numbers, ugh, not a good look.

[–] naeap@sopuli.xyz 4 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

The link misses the last bracket

Gonna try: link

Edit: yeah, seems you just missed a ')'

[–] Buffalox@lemmy.world 1 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

Worked fine for me, I haven't edited it, and it still works fine?
The ")" is absolutely there.
Hovering your link and mine they are identical.

[–] naeap@sopuli.xyz 1 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Strange

On my client (summit/android) a closing bracket is missing and the link doesn't work

[–] Buffalox@lemmy.world 1 points 5 days ago

I just tried it on my phone too (Firefox), and it works fine.
So yes strange indeed?

[–] scarabic@lemmy.world 27 points 4 days ago

From soy milk’s heyday in the 1990s to the rise of oat milk amid the content vortex of the late 2010s, alternative milks have long been queer-coded choices.

Huh what? And here I thought I was going to see some data. But no.

Source?

I talked to a bunch of queer people

This is junk.

[–] 5714@lemmy.dbzer0.com 31 points 5 days ago (1 children)

US-American subsidies and food culture politics are so deranged that expensive animal lactation is cheaper to the consumer than simple plant extracts.

[–] dsilverz@calckey.world 1 points 4 days ago (1 children)

@5714@lemmy.dbzer0.com @hellfire103@lemmy.ca It's not just USA. I'm Brazilian and non-cow dairy/milk is more expensive than cow dairy/milk. I don't know the current prices (it's been a while since I went to a supermarket) but 1 liter of cow milk was something around BRL 3.50 (consider 1 BRL = 5.50 USD) while the same amount of oat milk costs more than BRL 10.00. Soy milk is slightly "cheaper", costing around BRL 6.00 if I recall correctly. It's worth mentioning that they're are produced nationally.

[–] 5714@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 4 days ago

In Germany, a liter of cow, oat or soy milk is all 1 EUR or according to DuckDuckGo 6.53 BRL (1.17 USD). Ten years ago, local cow farmers fought against the discontinued 0.40 EUR/l ensured price (meaning world market competition), more recently I read somewhere that oat milk has production costs of 0.20 EUR/l here, so the whole math is off on both consumption and production side.

[–] garbagebagel@lemmy.world 13 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (3 children)

I hope everyone here who drinks oat or almond milk realizes how marked up those milks are and figures out that purchasing those nuts or oats in bulk, and then just making your own alt milk, is way cheaper and actually really easy to do.

[–] Witchfire@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

Who the fuck has the time to do that and clean the mess though? I barely have time to have fruit for breakfast

[–] garbagebagel@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

I mean, you can just make a large amount of milk and keep it in the fridge just like you would with any other food prep. Its not something you have to do every day. Maybe once every couple of weeks if you drink a lot.

[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 1 points 3 days ago

Reminds me of sushi. You can make your own sushi for like a fraction of the cost

[–] Droggelbecher@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Sure, if you can shell out 360$ for a blender (that's the one that's linked on the site you linked).

Also, while it's still marked up and doesn't enjoy the same government subsidies, plant milk can be cheaper than cow's in many places.

[–] ImADifferentBird@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

You don't really need the Blendtec blender, though. A $30 Oster blender will do just fine.

[–] garbagebagel@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago

I got my blender at a thrift store for $8 and it works just fine

[–] ChonkyOwlbear@lemmy.world 17 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Funny enough I started drinking oat milk to save money. I don't go through milk very fast, so it often ended up spoiling. Oat milk has a longer shelf life, so I actually use up what I buy.

[–] AmazingAwesomator@lemmy.world 6 points 5 days ago (1 children)

i have been a moo-milk guy my entire life so i didnt know about the shelf life. it totally makes sense, i just didnt think about it...

i dont drink a whole bunch and usually my 1/2 gallons spoil. i should look into this - thank you!

[–] ChonkyOwlbear@lemmy.world 2 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I usually drank whole milk. I've found I like the Planet Oat extra creamy to be the best. I actually prefer making mac n cheese with it over milk!

[–] AmazingAwesomator@lemmy.world 1 points 5 days ago (4 children)

when using oat (or other sibstitute) milks instead of cow milks in baking, do direct substitutions work well? i have never baked with it before, and have honestly never looked into it... i'm starting to hate my ignorance, heh

[–] ChonkyOwlbear@lemmy.world 2 points 4 days ago

It works pretty well for most things. The extra creamy oat milk has lower fat and protein than even 2% milk, so it doesn't work well for things like bechamel sauces or custards that depend on the fats to thicken up. Adding a little butter can make up for it though. I've seen quite a few recipes including substitution instructions for oat and nut milk.

[–] JadenSmith@sh.itjust.works 7 points 5 days ago

... I've read through the article, and it all feels like a fever dream moments later. Maybe things like this is why aliens refuse to make contact.

[–] ElcaineVolta@kbin.melroy.org 5 points 5 days ago

lol, no we're not

[–] Kyle_The_G@lemmy.world 5 points 5 days ago (2 children)

that thumbnail is gross, that glass evokes whisky and they're pouring milk into it... its so off-putting lol

[–] 9point6@lemmy.world 7 points 5 days ago

I hate to break it to you but the Sneaky Pete is a real cocktail

I'm telling myself it's Irish coffee.