this post was submitted on 28 Oct 2025
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Not The Onion

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In retrospect, I should apologize for posting such a shitty article from such a shitty source. I did it for the laughs.

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[–] HelluvaKick@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago

I know they would just get in people's attics and cause mayhem, but Jesus fuck I've always wished the American southeast had wild monkeys I am rooting for the sole survivor

[–] fubarx@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

So... Tuesday.

[–] SenatorCollins@aussie.zone 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Yeah, that’s not very typical. I’d like to make that point.

[–] mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

typically the shipments aren't mixed like this. and the front stays on. but in this case. you see, when transporting aggressive monkeys with any one of the diseases, that's bad, but the front usually does, yes. stay on.

[–] SenatorCollins@aussie.zone 2 points 1 day ago

Well, I was thinking more about the other ones.

[–] thisbenzingring@lemmy.sdf.org 6 points 2 days ago

one is still on the loose!

I'm pulling for you buddy. Get the revenge you deserve!

[–] lechekaflan@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

FOX13

Well, yeah. Murdoch adding more salt to the wound.

[–] CIA_chatbot@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago

Hey this one was NOT my fault, I only work outside of US borders

[–] A_norny_mousse@feddit.org 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

My first thought was that this happened many years ago. It would explain a lot...

[–] quick_snail@feddit.nl 3 points 1 day ago

A couple years ago, the US had hundreds of thousands of people getting long covid every month.

Long covid diminishes cognitive ability significantly.

...that should explain a lot

[–] flamingo_pinyata@sopuli.xyz 3 points 2 days ago

Because of course

hepatitis, herpes, and COVID in Mississippi? What's the over/under that one of them gets married before caught?

[–] entwine@programming.dev 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)
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[–] morphballganon@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

You're telling me Dead Alive is real now?

[–] Foni@lemmy.zip 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Why the hell were they transporting those monkeys from one place to another?

[–] nocturne@slrpnk.net 3 points 1 day ago

Funding cuts?

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