We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!
Posts must be:
Please also avoid duplicates.
Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.
And that’s basically it!
They changed the article title but the URL still holds the goods.
Truck carrying aggressive monkeys infected with hepatitis, herpes, and COVID crashes
A long as no one fucks the herpes monkey we should be fine.
in Mississippi
Shit.
Are there 12 of them? Asking for a friend.
Great flick. I think Brad was awesome.
Nice
451 is a great error code. It's a reference to Fahrenheit 451, and is used to indicate government censorship. In this case it's being used all wrong, and almost ironic in nature.
418 is a fun one too. "I'm a teapot"
418 is always a little disappointing though. Lots of projects out there touting their "full HTCPCP compatibility" when all they do is serve 418 to every request; no actual coffeepots I could find last time I looked.
Sounds like the problem is trying to make teapots capable of coffee pot control protocol.
That's probably for the best. Nobody should be subjected to fox news, or contribute to their ad revenue.
It's still the net, but it's not very inter these days
At this point I'm just like, yeah, that may just as well happen.
Assuming each monkey only has one of those infections each they are probably lowering the population average for Mississippi.
And raising collective IQ
So, reading the short article, only one infected monkey escaped, per the sheriff's office. Then the University they are from clarified that their infected monkeys are not contagious, and there were no infected monkeys on that truck.
The monkeys are for primate virology research.
Nice reminder of just how hard spun headlines are.
I boo you
Oh most definitely. But I won't let that get in the way of having a good laugh.
Now tell me there was 12 monkeys in there
I feel like I should check on the story in about 28 days…
Also 28 weeks
Witnesses of the crash:
RFK Jr will be very worried that his newly recruited team for the health and human services department had an accident whilst travelling to their new government offices.
Those monkeys are significantly more qualified than any of his current picks.
I actually had this one on my 2025 bingo card.
what else is
Two dead presidents... Didn't say which countries tho.
clears throat WHY?!?!
To give Hollywood some fresh material
It ain't even fresh this is straight up the plot of 28 days later!
That's fresh enough by Hollywood standards.
Honestly, I'd be pretty aggressive too if I had hepatitis, herpes, and COVID and was just involved in a crash.
Right Wing conspiracy in 3... 2...
The crazy part is they were headed to Florida...
Which means despite all the existing infections, they were likely meant as a control group /s
Dang DEI anti-woke monkeys carrying a fake china disease made in a laboratory
Thanks OBiden
Driver was drinking Tylenol.
So... Tuesday.
yeah with the way things have been going this tracks.
First rule of 12 monkeys club is that you do not talk about 12 monkeys club
The story has been updated with information from people who know what they're talking about (as opposed to the idiot sheriff who made that claim)