this post was submitted on 03 Dec 2025
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Not The Onion

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[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 107 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (4 children)

Who’s going to be the first person admitted to the ER because a Lily Allen album is lodged in their rectum?

[–] MantisToboggon@lemmy.world 69 points 1 week ago

Trick question I did that shit last year.

I'm in the waiting room right now for my weekly clean-out.

[–] NuXCOM_90Percent@lemmy.zip 25 points 1 week ago (1 children)

That ship sailed closer to decades ago than not.

Spend some time with ER workers (and pay for their damned drinks) and you will learn just how toned down The Pitt actually was.

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[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago

For the low price of 19.99 it could be YOU!!

And if you are lucky, you might even get a bit of malware up there.

[–] mr_account@lemmy.world 57 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Put West End Girl in your Best End, Girl

[–] Kraiden@piefed.social 15 points 1 week ago

It's like bad prophecy: When the moon is full, the West shall be in the South

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[–] Proprietary_Blend@lemmy.world 26 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 17 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] SayJess@lemmy.blahaj.zone 15 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] swab148@lemmy.dbzer0.com 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] Whostosay@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] H3mp79@lemmy.today 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] Jhex@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] Whostosay@sh.itjust.works 19 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] axexrx@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)
[–] WatchfulConsole@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (5 children)
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[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 24 points 1 week ago

Healthcare workers now hate this lady.

[–] AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net 24 points 1 week ago (1 children)

That base is insufficiently flared. I get that they're not meant to actually be used as buttplugs, but given that there are so many flat out dangerous buttplugs out there in the world, I feel like if you're going to use the image of them in order to be edgy and in the news, you should at least represent a proper buttplug

Lets be honest, that whole thing is barely thicker than a finger. Novelty would be a stretch or rather no stretch.

Someone will though.

[–] Grimy@lemmy.world 24 points 1 week ago

Corporate espionage is about the get a lot more exciting.

[–] SpiceDealer@lemmy.dbzer0.com 23 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Good to see physical media making something of a comeback!

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[–] chuckleslord@lemmy.world 19 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] baatliwala@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

This man is beautiful and I want to look into his eyes every day

[–] ProfThadBach@lemmy.world 17 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I have no idea who this is and after I looked them up I still have no idea.

[–] mic_check_one_two@lemmy.dbzer0.com 27 points 1 week ago (1 children)

She’s a pop singer who was married to the cop from Stranger Things. Then they got divorced, and she wrote an album about it. In the album, she put him on blast for having a sex dungeon full of toys for his hookers. It apparently really embarrassed him, but he has refused to publicly comment on it. And now she’s releasing her new album on buttplug shaped USBs, to further needle at him.

[–] quick_snail@feddit.nl 18 points 1 week ago (5 children)
[–] Miaou@jlai.lu 23 points 1 week ago (7 children)

He cheated on her with hookers, but her singing about it is fucked up? Am I browsing 4chan?

[–] yggstyle@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Look I'll be that guy. Someone cheats - drop em. Say your piece. Whatever. But if you are making a book deal on it... Or profiteering off the situation? That's subhuman.

If he did that? Piece of shit, absolutely.

But if shes taking creative license and publicising her "side of the story"... And looking to profit off it? Nah. You lost me. If anything it sounds like they deserved each other. I sure as fuck would steer clear of both of em.

You have two consenting adults acting like anything but.

[–] kandoh@reddthat.com 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Look I'll be that guy. Someone cheats - drop em. Say your piece. Whatever. But if you are making a book deal on it... Or profiteering off the situation? That's subhuman.

Subhuman is when you express your life experiences creatively as a commercial artist. Very cool, very hinged take.

I remember when I first listened to Fleetwood Mac's Rumors and thought "This isn't one of the greatest raw emotional albums of all time, no, this is disgusting subhuman noise. Keep cheating men's private sins private"

[–] yggstyle@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I remember when I first listened to Fleetwood Mac's Rumors and thought "This isn't one of the greatest raw emotional albums of all time, no, this is disgusting subhuman noise. Keep cheating men's private sins private"

Do point out to me where I said keep anyone's anything private. I said the act of publicly profiting off of their side of a story was the sub human act. It is, quite literally, selling a story which may (and frequently is) embellished at the others expense.

This isn't making lemonade with lemons... Its shit human behavior. And before you forget that I pointed it out: so was the cheating. Thus: they deserved each other.

But yes: read half of my statement and distill it into "woman bad" or whatever nonsense you were ragebaiting over.

Very cool, very hinged take.

Indeed.

[–] FordBeeblebrox@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago (2 children)

This is literally Taylor Swift’s whole oeuvre. Everyone deals with breakups their own way, some people write long overly descriptive songs and profit off of salacious lyrics.

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[–] djdarren@piefed.social 12 points 1 week ago

That woman is magnificent.

[–] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 9 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Nobody else manages to be simultaneously posh and trashy quite like Lily Allen.

[–] qevlarr@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 10 points 1 week ago

She’s West London entertainment royalty. She just affects a mockney (and occasionally dodgy Jamaican) accent to be more “street”, innit.

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[–] treesquid@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Clearly the album should be South End Girl if she's serving it up in a butt plug

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[–] GaryGhost@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You can get a pig destroyer butt plug on band camp, looked like good quality

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[–] sem@piefed.blahaj.zone 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

How does it compare to pet shop boys version?

[–] sundray@lemmus.org 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Dunno, I'd have to put it in my ear first.

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[–] CMDR_Horn@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

Slpt, for when you need to cross the border to/from an unfriendly country

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