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Kohler Can Access Data and Pictures from Toilet Camera It Describes as “End-to-End Encrypted”
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/r/nottheonion
Excuse me, a toilet camera‽
this post was submitted on 05 Dec 2025
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Technology
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I mean, it is encrypted between their end and your... uh... end. Just not encrypted at their end.
I wonder who has to review the logs. That would be a shit job.
Heh logs.
You fixed my crappy morning, much appreciated.
Heh shit.
It is encrypted at their end - they say the data is encrypted both in transit and at rest.
However, it's not end-to-end encrypted, in the usual meaning of the term. E2EE usually means that only the sender and intended recipients of the data can decrypt the it, not the company running the service, their affiliates, or any intermediaries.
End-to-End? More like ass-to-ass
So, many, puns...
What a waste of money.
I just upload videos of me shitting directly to German porn sites, and then read the comments to see if I have anything to worry about.
🤣
I can't read German tho
ah, "end-to-end encrypted" meaning the transport is encrypted, but data in storage is not. Or it is with a hardcoded key everybody who ever worked in IT there knows. Classic.
Kudos to whoever approved a freaking camera on a toilet. I would like to know the name of their drug dealer.
... wait ... what?
I'm more concerned by the presence of the camera and less concerned about whether or not my taint pictures can be acquired by third parties. I don't want a second party involved.
Toilet cameras. Every time I think to myself that humanity's intellectual capacity has hit a new low, reality proves me wrong.
🤣 Equally as dumb was a while back some wifi bed that refused to expand or collapse or something without internet, so people couldn't sleep on it while the sever was down
Sounds familiar: didn't the AWS outage last month also nuke 3,000+ USD 'smart beds'?
I remember when cameras in toilets were a thing that women lived in fear of, especially in public toilets.
Now its a thing we're buying from corporations to give them HD live stream of the same thing.
What kind of lunatic is gonna buy an online enabled toilet camera to monitor their shits?
Just wait for Law enforcement to get access to it. You know its coming.
"This shit has nuts in it. says the prosecution. Proving that they did not have a nut allergy. The prosecution rests."
What kind of lunatic is going to covertly monitor someone else's shits?
Well if I was getting paid I'd probably do it for passive income.
The article indicates that there's a monthly fee for the "service." So it's not a passive income situation.
And the privacy policy states data may be used “To create aggregated, de-identified and/or anonymized data, which we may use and share with third parties for our lawful business purposes, including to analyze and improve the Kohler Health Platform and our other products and services, to promote our business, and to train our AI and machine learning models.”
They're literally using people's shitting and pissing to train AI.
But isn't AI already shitty enough by itself??
There might be a world, after we've pulled the last billionaire's lungs out, when humans are back in control, that we can do research into defecating video that can identify bowel cancer just by letting a computer watch someone take a dump.
We do not yet live in this world though.
By "End-to-End" encrypted, they were meaning the food.
~sigh~
I’ve said this before…
toilet. camera.
ummm… no thanks
Walking into a meeting at Kohler and keeping a straight face after saying the words "toilet camera"--and then maintaining that straight face throughout the product's discussion, greenlighting, development, manufacture, and sale--deserves an Oscar.
I remember when toilet cameras were illegal and only on porn sites.
Guess everything changes when there’s money to be made.
Oh there was money to be made there too. Just by the wrong people.
Toliet camera....for $600 camera with a monthly subscription..... might as well just go to a doctor weekly with stool samples if you care this much about your rectal health. I can't see this being popular outside of a very niche group of patients that need it
I don’t think anybody needs this. Hypochondriacs are the only market I can see.
"End-to-end encrypted using the time-tested ROT-13 cypher."
Or something even more porous.
You know the only thing more ridiculous than buying a toilet with a built in camera?
In October Kohler launched Dekota, a $600 (plus monthly subscription) device that attaches to the rim of your toilet and collects images and data from inside
Buying a camera to attach to an existing toilet, that has a monthly device fee that costs more than a fucking toilet does.
Which means that it's not end-to-end encrypted. It's HTTPS encrypted, which is different.
If it was truly end-to-end encrypted, the only person who could access it would be you, and all they would get would be garbled mess.
*transport-encrypted.
I don't understand. The internet is just a series of tubes. Why don't they just transport the shit directly?
Should be rear-end-to-rear-end encrypted
Just so I am clear, nobody has made the pun "end-to-end-to-end encryption" yet? Really?
In Swedish, ända till ända
..no, I don't think I will.
Oh cool. The CEO is played by Mark Proksch. Didn't know who he was back when this first aired.
It's always fun when that happens
What a useful endeavor for humanity I wonder what more incredible and amazing inventions the market will direct resources towards /s
that's special