this post was submitted on 22 Dec 2025
465 points (96.6% liked)

Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world 68 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Please don't shit in the restrooms, I take unofficial breaks in there

[–] FatVegan@leminal.space 27 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I hate it when i just want to take a break but it smells like shit

[–] Opisek@piefed.blahaj.zone 13 points 1 month ago

That's when you get to explore the office building to find new restrooms.

[–] Pat_Riot@lemmy.today 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

We have a "flush as soon as it hits the water" rule at my job.

[–] Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

I remember when I blew my exes mind with that trick. She went to the bathroom after me and couldn't understand why it didn't smell

[–] Zoot@reddthat.com 31 points 1 month ago

Thanks Obama

[–] abbotsbury@lemmy.world 19 points 1 month ago (3 children)

is the date cropped because it's from today? because it seems like you went looking for the first post with greentext for the purpose of submitting anything

[–] Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

No, that sounds like a lot of effort and I have plenty. Greentexts have varying degrees of weirdness. Sometimes anon is an offensive degenerate, and sometimes he just wants to tell you about his work bathroom.

[–] abbotsbury@lemmy.world -5 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I know what greentexts are, just because I think yours is low effort slop doesn't mean I need it explained.

[–] RickyRigatoni@retrolemmy.com 6 points 1 month ago

This is commentslop.

[–] stray@pawb.social 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Does greentext need to age before it's palatable?

[–] abbotsbury@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] SorteKanin@feddit.dk 2 points 1 month ago

What is the point? Genuine question.

[–] bus_factor@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I thought 4chan was dead? Are people posting green texts somewhere else now?

[–] abbotsbury@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

A) 4Chan isn't dead

B) Greentexts are a part of imageboard culture in general

[–] bus_factor@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

Ah, I see now that they brought it back after a couple weeks.

[–] lka1988@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 month ago

You expect effort in a greentext post?

I come here to laugh at the idiots on 4chan, not think.

[–] mech@feddit.org 18 points 1 month ago

A~~r~~n~~az~~on

[–] rizzothesmall@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 month ago

A fine shitpost

[–] Bosht@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I honestly don't get it. Is this like an anti joke thing? It's funny because it's literally just a shit post about restrooms existing?

[–] stray@pawb.social 7 points 1 month ago

It's also pleasantly wholesome to thank the bathroom. Appreciating the small things in life is a healthy mental habit, and it's just nice to see Anon being healthy.

[–] MintyFresh@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

Poopin on company time!

[–] hedge_lord@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Okay but plumbing for waste disposal is actually insane. You're telling me that this weird looking chair takes my poop and just... makes it disappear? Takes if off of my property entirely?? They process it so it doesn't stink up everything??? Kids these days take it all for granted!

[–] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Ngl collecting it in a bucket has its perks. You can use it as manure.

Also with egg prices these days you need an alternative during halloween.

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 month ago

You would not want human manure. Human manure will eventually kill you. Pathogenic bacteria, viruses, prions, parasites, amoebas, heavy metals, plastic, the list could go on for ages but these are my biggest concerns. You will eventually contract a horrific illness from human manure, and it will cause you to wither to a husk before killing you. 0/10, do not recommend.

[–] nek0d3r@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

4channer with hygeine? Fake and gay

[–] Jollyllama@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

On site no less.