Greentext

That's really sweet.

I do wonder if the "strsngers online" part didn't help.

You get, I dunno, call them the most popular/attractive women, who attract random compliments. Constantly getting strangers telling them "you're pretty." Coupoe with the actual weirdos sending them DMs like "Show me your feet," and that maked the woman bitter and jaded so even basic compliments start to get (justifiably) negative back, even if its "You're pretty" or even lesser comments (say, "I like your art").

Then those guys start to equate this behavior to every woman, including real life. Especially as it also starts to morph a bit on the women's side into "Dudes are all creeps."

And I am not trying to blame either men nor women here, just that it becomes its own toxic snowball that results in incels.

This also isn't helped by the 90-2000s epidemic of Movie and TV stereotypes in teen movies. Only hot jocks and cheerleaders are acceptable and nerds are ugly and terrible people.

🤯

Oh "why do good girls like bad guys" is one of those questions of the ages. It exists for many reasons, but the short list is:

• there's a fine line between confidence and assholery solution: may you have the strength to change the things you can, the patience to endure the things you can't, and the wisdom to know the difference. Once you trust your judgment in such things, act confidently on them, or at least try to look it.

• there's a bunch of emotions that are neurochemically identical and that can often be misattributed as each other and "scared" and "horny" share most of the same neurotransmitters. Solution: go see a scary movie, go to a rollercoaster park, or do a physical activity together that involves cardio.

• daddy issues and other psychosocial toxicity that you probably don't want anything to do with anyway. Solution: don't put your dick in (or your vagina on) crazy.

Men are animals. Women are also animals. They usually get along better overall when they're both trying to be mindful of that, both for their own sake and that of the other person.

Extreme insecurity is a terrifying thing, so withholding and abusing as a form of control to distance yourself from the parts of yourself that are insecure is the “solution.” Then they stay in social spaces where it’s standard practice to reinforce this nonsense and bob’s your uncle, you’ve got an incel.

Figuring out how to be comfortable around people in a way that doesn’t isolate you is a simple idea to vocalize, but a pretty massive undertaking.

I think the change happened more quickly because of parasocial relationships, aka someone throwing tons of money and attention at a streamer/OF model and expecting reciprocated feelings.

I think stuff like this is why there are articles saying ‘exercise culture is fascist’

Probably plays a part of it, but the main reason why is because fascism has always been obsessed with aesthetics, individualism, and the concept of übermenschen. Much of our modern health & wellness industry is focused more on aesthetics than actual health outcomes. A lot of it can be traced directly back to the eugenics movement in the 1920s.

Shit, probably the best dating perspective on this greentext community in a long time.

A LOT of guys here would pretty much say "Yea, it's bad, but that's just how human brains work, we are wired a certain way, heard mentality, blah blah blah." and that shit does not sound right. Glad you are combating that

Also yea, fuck negging

but it's weirdly also pushed hard by hollywood & american television - anyone else noticed that?

Yes! A lot of american humor is based on tearing someone down. I cringe thinking back into my childhood when I participated in this type of behavior but thankfully i've stopped a long time ago. Still saddens me that a lot o people just don't mature out of it and keep behaving like this.

Also fuck negging and all the garbage that comes out of the manosphere. Bunch of insecure man babies

It's been so long since I've seen or heard a Napoleon Dynamite reference in the wild

Anon is a homewrecker and stealing the girls boyfriend is all part of his master plan to be fake and gay

i just wish more would actually say no instead of saying "thanks" or something neutral like that

i can take rejection but thanks comes off like "eh. maybe, but you seem kind of lame/weird", which in my head becomes a challenge to show them your not lame. which is a thin line between trying to convince them to give you a shot vs being pushy/creepy, if that thanks was meant as a "no thanks".

as an autist, it frustrates me when people don't just say what they mean.

Exactly, and you have to remember what the context of the game theory were, picking up women in crowded bars. What works there, and on the subset of both men and women that goes to those places, will not always work in other settings with other people.

Probably not specifically to reduce the competition.

The sad fact is that insecure and desperate men are easy to manipulate into paying you money in the hopes that it'll give them a better chance at finding dates. Online dating was unfortunately doomed to be like this from the start.

It is an elaborate ruse. But not to reduce competition, it's to just turn young men into angry unstable individuals which can be used for nefarious purposes. We have literal evidence of it happening with Gamergate and there's some evidence those young men may have just helped get Donald Trump elected in his first term.

When people are angry and lonely they can be easily coopted for stuff, you just offer them a community and an outlet for their rage and they are yours to do as you want.

Doesn't explain the tactic of calling anything they don't like "gay."