You say Amazon has one for a while... They're deactivating their apk store like this week, I think.
All the apks I got through amazons store gave a shitty check in them that sees if the Amazon apk store is still installed and active. If it isn't, the apk won't work, so I'm in the middle of waiting to see if the ones I still have installed on my phone are going to keep working or not.
*Edit. Just double checked. Amazon apk store shuts down August 20th.
Well I hope you don't bust while playing Postal 2. Not really any sexy stuff on there, but you can dump gas on people, burn them alive, and then piss on them.
Also, cats can be used as suppressors.