I know you are joking but based on my purely anecdotal personal experience, the French (at least in Paris) can now speak and are willing to speak in English much more than a few decades back.
The first time I went to France, almost 25 years back, I had a rough time communicating at restaurants or even buying tickets at the Paris metro stations. Not sure if the latter was an ability or willingness issue because even holding up two fingers and saying "two tickets" was apparently indecipherable. Had to muster my school days French and say "deux billets" to produce instant results.
Edit: And no, the two fingers I was holding up were not the middle finger of each hand :P
While Manjaro is perfectly fine, this is no longer true. With the
archinstall
script you can have even Arch up and running in minutes. It's still not graphical or straightforward as a Manjaro installation, but it's certainly not painful. EndeavourOS may be the closest to Arch with simple installation.