OurToothbrush

Yeah, I'm the egotistical one, not the cis guy trying to explain why it isn't actually transmisogyny to a trans woman who has studied and experienced this specific form of transmisogyny.

You aren't some static being where people attempting to change your mind about something you haven't investigated is some violation. If that is what it feels like to you maybe you need to do some self reflection, because what I am describing to you is literally just the process of learning.

Edit: also men like you love to force your preference on me. Do you know how many times I've been cornered (because some men like to do that when hitting on someone) and had to be there for a man's significant emotional event after realizing he was attracted to a trans woman? This is me being proactive so some trans woman doesn't have to deal with your freak out if you end up hitting on a trans woman.

So in this metaphor trans people are AI, cartoons, and wax figures, and cis people are human?

Or, on a less confrontational tact, do you only experience attraction once you've confirmed that the person is cis? How does that work, do you ask for medical records before having an initial impression of people?

What do you mean by my preferences? I am annoyed when people spout bullshit that they don't understand is bullshit and then get defensive when you tell them they're wrong, stop playing the victim.

Well read on transmisogyny? How do you want me to point out to you that you're incorrect? Like, earnestly, what is the right way to point out to someone that they're being bigoted when they don't know they're being bigoted?

I know more on this than you

on a personal level- plenty of men hit on me and then when I speak in my non-passing voice to let them know I'm a lesbian react with disgust. Men who say they'd never be attracted to a trans woman have had no problem aggressively hitting on me

On an academic level- I've read a lot of feminist works on misogyny, and works on how transmisogyny operates.

You haven't done enough study on the topic to have an opinion that you should personally stand by.

Unless you have investigated a problem, you will be deprived of the right to speak on it. Isn't that too harsh? Not in the least. When you have not probed into a problem, into the present facts and its past history, and know nothing of its essentials, whatever you say about it will undoubtedly be nonsense. Talking nonsense solves no problems, as everyone knows, so why is it unjust to deprive you of the right to speak?

If you have issues with my tone maybe you should have raised the issue instead of me, because you obviously know how to do it better.

You can still collaboratively discuss with him why he is incorrect and how he is falling into ambient transmisogyny if you want.

This is an utterly ridiculous straw man. Literally worthy of ridicule. These are bad arguments and you should be ashamed to have made them.

Yeah, let me just page up all the trans and feminist academics writing on stigma theory as it relates to misogyny and transmisogyny and let them know that they are wrong, that cis men are never afraid of being tainted by an association with women or queer people

Or maybe you're just wrong and defensive, which is 1000 times worse than just being wrong and learning from being wrong, which is a normal human thing.

When your online ego isn't on the line I'd suggest reading Sexed Up by Julie Serano.

At minimum keep it to yourself. Ask yourself what the utility of saying it is. Because what I read is "I support trans people but I still find them gross personally because if I don't say that people will think I'm a f*g"

So in other words, you are not defending the statement that the commenter was making, about never experiencing attraction?

I think that your "preference" is based on very sloppy thinking rooted in ambient transphobia. I think you are also confusing a desire for precision of thought with being pedantic.

I think you're trying to imply that preferences are neutral facts. I think you should consider how you'd react to someone saying "I am only attracted to white women" or "I am only attracted to 18 y/o women". Do you think their preference is a neutral fact or an expression of something?

Oh, also, expression of "preference" is different than having a preference. Ask why you felt the need to say it in this thread.

So you were never attracted to those people?