betterdeadthanreddit

On one end, yeah.

The issue was not that he was eating it, it was how he was eating it.

I think you're safe, you're obviously not a banana.

Sounds a little like Resident Alien (if you omit the bananas and Sweden).

I'm worried that stupid is our best case scenario. For all we know, the rest are stupid plus a cattle prod to the junk so might as well stick with the one that isn't currently zapping my balls.

Probably just has to drool into the collection jar considering how much time these guys spend sucking themselves off.

The only reason I think they didn't is that their mascot isn't a little altar boy.

OP? OP who? Sorry, we don't have any record of an OP.

Strong entry for an Ig Nobel Prize if nothing else.

Arson, murder, and jaywalking.

Turns out this was all due to a clerical error in the contract back when the system was built: instead of UN Secure Information Access, they got Unsecure Information Access.

Future generations of Russians will gain immunity to fall damage once they weed out the ones still complying with the law of gravity.