It gives Google ultimate control over what apps you can install on “your” phone.
Only if you're using Android, though. It makes sense to me that Google would want publishers of Android apps to be verified, since Google would face backlash if any attacker could publish Android apps anonymously.
At the risk of sounding like an out of touch janny, what's a janny?
Republicans would be upset about Wikipedia being censored if they knew how to read.
It's possible to hate a country and also be forced to capitulate to it (or die trying to resist, if you don't have a family that you care about).
Thanks for the suggestion! I was about to ask what non-Android Linux options are available.