this post was submitted on 12 Nov 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[โ€“] ladicius@lemmy.world 171 points 1 week ago (16 children)

Guys: Take a shower, shave and put on clean clothes before you meet with someone.

Hygiene is very sexy.

[โ€“] papalonian@lemmy.world 162 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (17 children)

Gonna preface this by saying Ive got no issues with you or your comment, I recognize what community I'm in.

But advice like this is so frustrating for actually normal people who are single and are struggling to find a partner. It implies anyone who can't get a date can't do so because they're the equivalent of a stinky smelly mongoloid who's been wearing the same underwear he uses to clean his pits for 3 days.

Again your comment is perfectly valid given the context. OOP probably left out that he tipped his fedora to the m'lady because of all the dandruff that fell off when he did it. But being told in normal communities to "just take a shower bro you'll get a date ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฝ" feels like being corrected on your spelling, in a math test, when you spelled the word correctly in the first place.

/rant

Edit: oof. So I upset some people with this one, obviously, but the only people I care about that I upset are the ones who pointed out the unfortunate term used above. As some had guessed I had no idea of it's origins. (Ironically, I noticed the similarity when my phone generously assumed I wasn't a bigot and tried autocorrecting to something.. marginally less offensive, but in the midst of typing out a rant I didn't think twice.)

I'm leaving it so others can see my mistake and hopefully learn from it. But when selecting fun and frivolous language, I'll make sure to remove that one from the pot.

[โ€“] Yuki@kutsuya.dev 59 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Oof, also I laughed at your example at the bottom. This actually happened to me in highschool and it still haunts me.

[โ€“] ryannathans@aussie.zone 20 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[โ€“] Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 18 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[โ€“] Yuki@kutsuya.dev 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[โ€“] KillerTofu@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

Our condolences

[โ€“] 0ops@lemm.ee 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I had one geography and pre-algebra teacher in junior high that was like this. She practically refused to give out 100% on any assignment or test, and as far as I know no one ever could. She took the time to pick out any little flaw. Word misspelled? You lost points (granted, that's fair for place names in geography). Handwriting not typewriter-perfect? You lost points. Didn't quite erase something to her standards? You lost points. Didn't format a handwritten page precisely as she defined (and she was extremely precise)? If you're lucky you lost points, but she often threw those away with a zero. Used the wrong type of pencil? Allegedly she could tell if it wasn't written with a #2 pencil, and would throw the it away if it wasn't. The best grade I got in either of those classes was 99.5%. What did I miss? One of my 'i's had the dot slightly touching the rest of the letter. Real Umbridge character personality-wise too, more than anyone I ever met.

All this allegedly to prepare for college. So it was a shocker when I got there find out that I could straight up get 2/10 correct on a calculus test but still be graded at 80% because (read this in a slavic accent) "you made mistakes in algebra, but you know your calculus". Go figure

[โ€“] Yuki@kutsuya.dev 3 points 1 week ago

Omg... I would've been so angry with her if that were to happen to me XD! 99.5% because of a fucking dot on the i ...

[โ€“] adam_y@lemmy.world 26 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Dude, the use of "mongoloid" is not cool.

You know what it means, right?

[โ€“] MBM@lemmings.world 32 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The double whammy of referring to a specific syndrome and racist origins

[โ€“] TheDoozer@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Holy shit, just looked that up, and it has layers to it. Based on the rest of their comments in the thread, I'm sure it wasn't intentional, they probably had no idea of the origins and meanings (I certainly didn't), but man is that one problematic.

[โ€“] papalonian@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

OOF.

Based on the rest of their comments in the thread, I'm sure it wasn't intentional, they probably had no idea of the origins and meanings

Thanks for giving me the benefit of the doubt. Probably should've clicked when my phone graciously tried to save me with autocorrect, but I was typiiiing.

Original comment updated.

[โ€“] papalonian@lemmy.world 0 points 1 week ago

Well I'll just see myself out then.

Comment updated. Thanks. Sorry.

[โ€“] bestboyfriendintheworld@sh.itjust.works 18 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Take a shower before you see a sex worker.

[โ€“] papalonian@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I WINT SHOWER BEFORE SEEING A SEX WORKER I WONT SHOWER BEFORE SEEING A SEX WIRKER I WONT SHOWER BEFORE SEEING A SEX WORKER I WINT SHOWER BEFOR E SEEING A SEX WORKER I WONT SHOWER BEFORE SEEING A SEX WOREE

[โ€“] AFC1886VCC@reddthat.com 3 points 1 week ago

If you're hygienic then the comment isn't for you

[โ€“] selokichtli@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

BTW, and now that we are doing this, dandruff is not a sign of lack of hygiene. It is a common symptom of skin conditions like dermatitis. I don't like to recommend subreddits in Lemmy, but take a look at r/sebderm and read a couple of threads there. Fortunately, most people don't know it, but a chronical skin condition can get you suicidal.

[โ€“] papalonian@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Yeah, dandruff was an unfair blow. I just figured if I was going for a standard 4chinner insult, it almost made it better.

If the OOP is actually real I don't actually think they're a fedora warrior.

[โ€“] selokichtli@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 week ago

Nah, it's cool. I just took the opportunity for a PSA.

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[โ€“] Sonicdemon86@lemmy.world 18 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I do that and still no dates, now what?

[โ€“] Birch@sh.itjust.works 41 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Did you remember to be attractive?

[โ€“] Sonicdemon86@lemmy.world 18 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Well I am not overweight, and am tall. Attractiveness is really on a scale and can be in the eye of the beholder, but no I would not consider myself attractive or unattractive, just plain.

[โ€“] Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 37 points 1 week ago (1 children)

All this place knows is Linux bro don't come here for advice

[โ€“] Sonicdemon86@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Well good thing I'm not a Linux bro.

[โ€“] SmackemWittadic@lemmy.world 24 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[โ€“] oce@jlai.lu 6 points 1 week ago

Ok, so now you have a clear plan to work on your attractiveness.

not overweight, and am tall

Ever considered going to Asia?

[โ€“] 0xD@infosec.pub 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You need to get out and talk to people and ask them out.

That's a dealbreaker, I'm out.

[โ€“] echodot@feddit.uk 3 points 1 week ago

Nah I would prefer to just complain about it on the internet.

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