this post was submitted on 07 Dec 2024
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[–] Maalus@lemmy.world 98 points 1 week ago (4 children)

I lost a partner doing that. Like flipping a switch, any interest in me was gone. Was struggling with depression, we knew eachother for a very long time, even dated in the past. Oh well.

[–] SparrowHawk@feddit.it 82 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Patriarchy seeps into women too

[–] Reddfugee42@lemmy.world 41 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Tons of southern women would literally lose their entire identity if their patriarchy disappeared tomorrow

[–] SparrowHawk@feddit.it 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Luckily they can build a better one

[–] bitjunkie@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I don't think it's still called a patriarchy if they build it

[–] SparrowHawk@feddit.it 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I meant an identity

[–] blazeknave@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

Handmaids are totally feminist

[–] Funky_Beak@lemmy.sdf.org 16 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Yeah patriarchy is a system and it poisons us all. Never stop being open to being vulnerable. It's just unfortunate that some view it as weakness.

[–] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 41 points 1 week ago (2 children)

It's happened to me twice. Shit sucks. I guess you could say if they lose interest for crying in front of them they're not good for you but I don't exactly have women lining up to date me. If I'd known ahead of time I'd have kept my emotions to myself.

[–] Passerby6497@lemmy.world 24 points 1 week ago

Masking to keep a relationship is not worth it. It makes you miserable and eventually you lose sight of who you are and just become the person you think others want you to be and feel empty inside. Or worse, it leads to self hatred and you end up lashing out at people.

Source: helping my partners overcome both sides of this....

[–] Maalus@lemmy.world 20 points 1 week ago

Yeah, but that'd be living a lie and hiding your emotions. Which is less healthy than being single. Meeting someone that likes you is something that can be done conciously rather easily with the right steps - but it does require a strong will, a lot of human interaction and a bunch of time. It also requires investing in yourself - living healthy, happy and mindful.

[–] squid_slime@lemm.ee 28 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

Fucking same, had just lost a mother figure my grand mother who I grow up with, never dealt with loss and had other things come into my life that exacerbated the situation. Anyway my ex split with me.

Sucked as I was there throughout her losses. Silver lining she was an enabler who had me drinking more, not working out. and now I am healthier inside and out, taken on therapy which has allowed me to face my demons.

Quote from my ex: "I like you more when you drank."

[–] elucubra@sopuli.xyz 7 points 1 week ago

My exwife of 18 years dumped me when I went into a period of depression, fueled by the death of my father and a business failure. As soon as I ceased to be the rock, I became value less.

I had been there for her for two serious bouts of depression.

I have heard of similar things from friends. Men are not allowed to show weakness. Remember men were not supposed to cry until recently.

[–] Jarix@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Wish me luck. My grandmother died last year. Lived with her for more years than i didnt. Spent the last 10 years watching her slip into the madness of dementia and alzhemiers not knowing what the hell im doing while her retired children enjoyed their retirement largely being absent. I had my younger brother with me thankfully, but we didnt know what the hell we were doing but we did our best.

My uncles put the house up for sale as quick as they could and forced us to move out inside a couple of months while we both had significant events at work that was causing us both to work overtime daily, and i work 6 days a week most weeks. I make 27 dollars now an hour, dont get paid overtime.

Therea tons of other things as well, but the closest thing to a father ive ever had threw me and my brother away after leaving the care of their own mother in our completely untrained hands for over a decade.

I understand blood feuds in a way i never thought possible on such a personal level

[–] squid_slime@lemm.ee 3 points 1 week ago

That's awful hope you and your brother can grieve in piece.

[–] GBU_28@lemm.ee 3 points 1 week ago

Good on you. Into the gym for health

Sorry, that honestly really sucks of them.
Allowing oneself to be vulnerable is one of the greater signs of trust I can think of.
Whenever someone in my life opens up or shows vulnerability, I'm mostly honored that they trusted me enough.
Especially someone you've known a while.

I hope you find someone in life where you can be open without strict roles and expectations.