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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works

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Anon learns to love the bath bomb (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 10 months ago by Gullible@sh.itjust.works to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works

158 comments fedilink hide all child comments

drop your childhood stories:
>be me, age 12
>hate showering more than anything
>it feels gross and i hate getting wet
>my mom starts telling me that if i don't shower every day then i can't eat dinner
>i want my dindin so i come up with a genius plan
>let the shower run for 10-15 minutes while i sit in the bathroom
>quickly wet my hair with sink
>mom buys it, i get dindin
>after a month she gets suspicious
>realize i have to step up my game
>now i run the shower and rub my arms/neck with hand soap
>also run my hair under the shower so it's dripping wet and not just moist
>she asks why i haven't asked her to buy shampoo yet
>come up with final version of my genius plan
>i'll stand next to the shower, let the water run, rub soap on my whole body and also use shampoo on my hair so it smells like shampoo
>then i'll rinse off in the sink
>all while the shower runs

i did this for four years until i realized i was just showering on hard mode

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[–] Jerkface@lemmy.world 82 points 10 months ago (4 children)

It's also called a whore bath. He might just be a whore.

[–] frosty99c@midwest.social 86 points 10 months ago (1 children)

A friend of mine is a non-native English speaker. He teaches at an elementary school and works with 'English as a second language' students. He casually mentioned that he always tells his students to take a 'horse bath' in the bathroom sink after recess if needed. He was traumatized when I told him that he'd misheard that phrase for his entire adult life.

[–] Jerkface@lemmy.world 30 points 10 months ago (1 children)

That story's as spicy as whore's radish!

[–] massive_bereavement@kbin.social 14 points 10 months ago

Well, he shouldn't look a gift whore's mouth.

[–] massive_bereavement@kbin.social 26 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I'm a whore expert and concur with this diagnosis.

[–] Default_Defect@midwest.social 15 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Dad? When are you coming home?

[–] doingthestuff@lemmy.world 4 points 10 months ago

Soon. Any day now.

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 21 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Reminds me of a snippet of conversation I overheard at the grocery. Kid’s talking to their mom and yells “child prostitution, ever heard of it?” She was pissed.

[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 4 points 10 months ago

"IT'S REAL WORK MOM"

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Daaaaaaaayyyuuuummm, I wonder what was the chatter before the kid yelled that

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 3 points 10 months ago

I was split between the kid problem solving their personal money issues, or unintentionally acting obtuse with a word they’ve only heard in passing. Sadly, we’ll never know as my partner felt disinclined toward listening in any further.

[–] somethingsnappy@lemmy.world 8 points 10 months ago (1 children)

We always called it military shower.

[–] klemptor@startrek.website 4 points 10 months ago

I thought that was just pits and bits?