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FDA warns public not to eat possibly radioactive shrimp sold at Walmart (abcnews.go.com)

submitted 2 months ago by tonytins@pawb.social to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

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[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 14 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Fuck you, I want shrimp powers

[–] Hadriscus@jlai.lu 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

especially if it's this supershrimp, you know, the one with 18 eyes ? strikes its claws at 20% the speed of light ? creating a vacuum fronted by a blinding plasma bubble, turning everything in its vicinity into shrimp-flavoured ash ?? ring a bell ??

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Mantis shrimp

[–] Hadriscus@jlai.lu 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

yes !! that's the one

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

But there's already a hero called Mantis

[–] Bytemeister@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Fuck that, go Pistol shrimp. It can clap it's claw so hard it sending out a blinding jet of plasma, and a directed shockwave which can stun nearby fish. Pistol shrimp make enough noise that nuclear submarines use them to hide from passive sonar.

[–] Hadriscus@jlai.lu 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

holy shit, it's my new favourite

[–] Bytemeister@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

But wait, there's more!

You've seen the Peacock Mantish shrimp with his rock em sock em bopper of doom, but are you ready for Spear Mantis Shrimp, which have a motherfucking HARPOON instead of bashers?!

[–] Hadriscus@jlai.lu 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

next you're going to tell me the harpoon is supersonic ??

[–] Bytemeister@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

It doesn't need to be.

[–] altphoto@lemmy.today 4 points 2 months ago

Oh no! We're trapped in this submarine! Who could possibly defend us???!!!

Me! El Shrimp Man!....Radio active!