this post was submitted on 19 Aug 2025
535 points (99.3% liked)

Not The Onion

17896 readers
1730 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] underline960@sh.itjust.works 155 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (3 children)

The FDA said it is working with distributors and retailers that received the shrimp from BMS Foods "to recommend that firms conduct a recall," according to the press release.

If the FDA is confident enough to warn us about it, why aren't they forcing a recall?

[–] Plebcouncilman@sh.itjust.works 95 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (4 children)

Has it occurred to you that some people may like eating radioactive shrimp? They should be free to do so!

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 51 points 2 weeks ago

Honestly, I'm upset at these Big Government Nanny State tactics, trying to scare me into not eating the radioactive shrimp which I've heard are actually healthier than regular shrimp.

Can we get DOGE to investigate these guys? Who is bankrolling them to spread misinformation?

[–] fartographer@lemmy.world 16 points 2 weeks ago

Mmm... Spongy jaw...

[–] Reverendender@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

I fully support any people who want to eat radioactive shrimp to be allowed to eat radioactive shrimp

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Screen_Shatter@lemmy.world 23 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

https://www.fda.gov/food/alerts-advisories-safety-information/fda-advises-public-not-eat-sell-or-serve-certain-imported-frozen-shrimp-indonesian-firm

Says the EPA limit is 1200Bq/kg, and the shrimp are at 68Bq/kg, so its nowhere near the limit. The way I see it I can eat 17.6kg or 38.8lbs of that shrimp before it hits that limit, and I know those limits are conservative for safety reasons, so I can exceed that without too much concern.

Based on some other limits from the NRC and some very rough math I would be willing to eat up to 98000 pounds of that per year. I'll play it safe and take about 2000 pounds of free shrimp please.

[–] tonytins@pawb.social 22 points 2 weeks ago

That would require taking responsibility.

[–] Tolookah@discuss.tchncs.de 80 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] PunnyName@lemmy.world 22 points 2 weeks ago
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] FarraigePlaisteach@lemmy.world 54 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

"Radioactive shrimp from Walmart" sounds like good sci-fi.

Joking aside, Walmart is a prolific human rights abuser. People in not only USA, but Bangladesh, Cambodia, India, Indonesia, and China have been reported to have intensive labor exploitation and abuse.

Forced labor, wage theft, sexual harassment, and sweatshop conditions with extremely low pay and long hours are among reports. Also, forced prison labor in Southeast Asia linked to their suppliers, allegations involving Uyghur forced labor in China, ... just .. ugh.

[–] Reverendender@sh.itjust.works 11 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Well, you can’t make obscenely large profits with ever-increasing rates of increase without those things

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 32 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Yes, only eat the shrimp loaded with agricultural runoff and microplastics

[–] Reverendender@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 weeks ago

As god intended

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] PrincessLeiasCat@sh.itjust.works 26 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

RFK Jr: no guys it’s cool, it’ll make you healthy. It’ll replace vaccines. It’s all natural.

[–] pulsewidth@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago

I have seasoned these shrimp personally. They are very high in radiation, just like the healthy sun that bring us all life.

1000096130

[–] AngryishHumanoid@lemmynsfw.com 24 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

Please God let them add radioactive shrimp to the next Fallout game.

[–] Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world 16 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

the next Fallout game.

Next one might not be a game.

[–] Steamymoomilk@sh.itjust.works 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] InvalidName2@lemmy.zip 20 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Living in the USA in 2025 is like that movie Cabin in the Woods. Basically every conceivable way for the country to end is happening simultaneously, all at once, and even then nobody bet on the radioactive shrimp, not even the maintenance crew. Granted, the reason they didn't bet on the shrimp is because they all got furloughed by DOGE back in February.

[–] krunklom@lemmy.zip 16 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

AS THE LEGENDS FORETOLD, THE AGE OF SHRIMP-MAN IS NIGH.

WITH THE INTELLIGENCE AND GENERAL APPEARANCE OF A MAN, AND THE COLOUR AND EXOSKELETON OF A SHRIMP, NO EVIL IN THIS WORLD IS KMGHTY ENOUGH TO STOP SHRIMP MAN.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Kbobabob@lemmy.world 16 points 2 weeks ago

Why couldn't they just put the lot codes in numerical order!?

[–] LMurch@thelemmy.club 14 points 2 weeks ago

Hear that, MAGAs? Woke Walmart says you can eat the shrimp you just bought.

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 14 points 2 weeks ago (11 children)

Fuck you, I want shrimp powers

load more comments (11 replies)
[–] fubarx@lemmy.world 14 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

But it says "Great Value" on the package. Which is it?

[–] Hadriscus@jlai.lu 6 points 2 weeks ago

they do have a great value, but in röntgens

[–] tiredofsametab@fedia.io 13 points 2 weeks ago

Abundance of crime and slavery in the shrimp food chain still OK, apparently. (It's really depressing :/)

[–] InvalidName2@lemmy.zip 12 points 2 weeks ago

There's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich. That- that's about it. Oh and cesium shrimp. But really, that's basically it.

[–] a_wild_mimic_appears@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 2 weeks ago (6 children)

Has anyone an idea where this contamination comes from? With a half-life of Cs-137 of 30 years, the pretty mild dosage and no knowledge of how long those shrimp were on ice, there are a lot of possible sources without info about the amount of Barium contained or am i wrong?

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] infinitesunrise@slrpnk.net 12 points 2 weeks ago

This wasn't on my vegan bingo sheet.

[–] Tikiporch@lemmy.world 10 points 2 weeks ago

Is this contamination or is Cs-137 used in shrimp farming in some other context? Other than this final flavor preparation, I mean.

[–] kayohtie@pawb.social 9 points 2 weeks ago

I guess they found out when they saw a couple glow in the shark :3

[–] Professorozone@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago

The FDA put out a warning. Well clearly there's another agency that should abolished and be left up to the states.

/s.

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 7 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

The seafood is radioactive?

@lemmy.zip, if you have to proxy image links, could you please not break them?

[–] captainastronaut@seattlelunarsociety.org 7 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

The radioactivity is probably the healthiest ingredient in any “fresh” seafood you can buy at Walmart

[–] beansbeansbeans@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Future canoe will take his chances. Is it green like the chicken?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] kandoh@reddthat.com 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

They're trying to keep all the shrimp powers to themselves

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] vivalapivo@lemmy.today 7 points 2 weeks ago

Can FDA do something with Walmart or the US is this fixed on individual responsibility?

[–] itsgroundhogdayagain@lemmy.ml 7 points 2 weeks ago

How did you get your superpowers?

I bought shrimp at Walmart.

load more comments
view more: next ›