this post was submitted on 05 Feb 2026
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] kcseb@pawb.social 154 points 1 day ago (3 children)

And here's where we introduce you to this magical term called full disk encryption!

[–] Alpha71@lemmy.world 1 points 5 hours ago (1 children)
[–] ZoteTheMighty@lemmy.zip 2 points 49 minutes ago

Yeah, refusing a warrant is definitely a separate crime from whatever they're looking for on the computer. If something like this happens, the only way to protect yourself from a warrant is to fully delete everything on your computer. They can't arrest you for not handing over something that doesn't exist. The cops know this though, which is why they probably wouldn't give you that kind of warning without having a warrant ready to go, which is because this story is fake.

[–] EmpatheticTeddyBear@lemmy.world 104 points 1 day ago (4 children)

And if you use BitLocker, do NOT backup your recovery key to the cloud!

https://gizmodo.com/microsoft-reportedly-turned-over-bitlocker-encryption-keys-to-the-fbi-2000713550

Print out out, give it to a friend, don't mention it via electronic means (email, text, Snapchat, YouTube, and so on...)

[–] msage@programming.dev 53 points 1 day ago (1 children)

And if you use BitLocker, don't!

[–] quips@slrpnk.net 2 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

What is a better windows alternative?

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 day ago

Don’t print it. Your previous prints are easily retrievable

[–] turdas@suppo.fi 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Even better is to memorize it.

[–] rtxn@lemmy.world 42 points 1 day ago (4 children)

Hide it in a poem in a leather bound book at the end of a trap-filled dungeon.

[–] FerretyFever0@fedia.io 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Hide it in a book in a buried chest on a minecraft world 5000 blocks from spawn.

[–] ThunderQueen@lemmy.world 3 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Unironically not a terrible idea. Who tf would check your minecraft for irl keys. Could probably have a library in a world just full. Probably isnt encrypted though. Probably just plain text in a game file on your drive somewhere

[–] FerretyFever0@fedia.io 1 points 1 hour ago

I stole from someone else that hid the urls of porn sites in a chest when he was a kid. Think it was pretty old, probably on Reddit, learned about it maybe 2 years ago. I don't know anything about encryption or protecting sensitive information, certainly not of this nature, but it could potentially work. Would be quite a few chests full if anon is doing something with a lot of intricate details.

[–] idunnololz@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago

I'll hide it at the end of my mix tape.

[–] Insekticus@aussie.zone 12 points 1 day ago

Ill be honest, this is clearly the best idea out there for passwords safety

[–] Pilon23@feddit.dk 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Now when you say a trap-filled dungeon. What exactly do you mean?

[–] Walk_blesseD@piefed.blahaj.zone 2 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

nothing incriminating, your honour, just some harmless pranks such as water buckets above the doors.

[–] KairuByte@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

I don’t think that’s the kind of trap they were alluding to…

[–] Walk_blesseD@piefed.blahaj.zone 2 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

Oh, I got that, I just refuse to entertain the possibility.

[–] KairuByte@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 2 hours ago

Y’know what, fair enough.

[–] JPAKx4@piefed.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 day ago

I think I've heard if you have a Microsoft account it automatically gets backed up

[–] LodeMike@lemmy.today 40 points 1 day ago (9 children)

This person should also turn off their computer and remove the RAM so it's zeroed out if it gets siezed.

[–] trxxruraxvr@lemmy.world 28 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Full disk encryption doesn't help much if the pc is running anyway since the key will be in memory

[–] B0rax@feddit.org 15 points 1 day ago (2 children)

How will they carry the running pc if it’s not a laptop?

[–] frog@feddit.uk 36 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

They have a battery attached to flat wires. When you give a couple millimeters of room from the plug, they insert the flat wires and the computer will be powered from the battery.

HotPlug Field Kit

If the computer is logged in, they have a USB device that mimics a mouse. It makes the mouse pointer move back and forth to prevent it from going to sleep or the screen saver.

[–] trxxruraxvr@lemmy.world 14 points 1 day ago (6 children)

They use forensic tools to clone the RAM before moving it. Probably depends on exploits so whether it will work may depend on your OS, but they have access to the hardware so there are a lot of possibilities.

[–] SirHaxalot@nord.pub 13 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Is this actually practically achievable or mostly theoretical in a lab? Is it confirmed that the cops have actually managed to do this?

[–] hector@lemmy.today 7 points 1 day ago

For password guessing they make clones of the computer so they can make countless instances of it to endlessly guess the password at the speed of dickheads to get around the systems cutting the guesser off after a number of attempts.

[–] Archer@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

You can do this for servers. Desktops would be no problem

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[–] SlurpingPus@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago (3 children)

This is where I think NFC may finally be useful. If cops show up, I slide my phone by a hidden NFC tag, and an http request is sent to my desktop machine. Everything incriminating is wiped and the computer is turned off, before the cops can walk to the room.

[–] Ilovethebomb@sh.itjust.works 1 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

As with many other suggestions made here, if it can be demonstrated in court that you had a system like this set up, it's going to be a really bad look for you.

[–] SlurpingPus@lemmy.world 1 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

You see, I'm one of those mysterious creatures who live in the lands outside the US. I know it's gonna be a shock, but we do exist.

As I already explained in the thread, where I am, the goal is to not give cops any material to work with, so they find someone else to harass. All the really serious data is hidden better than this.

[–] Ilovethebomb@sh.itjust.works 2 points 19 hours ago

So do I, so lose the condescending attitude.

[–] a4ng3l@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Unless you have tied the NFC to an arc wielding torch how would proper data disposal process runs its course fast enough? You live in a manor with very long hallways?

[–] SlurpingPus@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Most of really nasty data is text or a few questionable apps, and should take very little time. Video and audio present a problem, but I think they can be speedily wiped by nuking the metadata parts, making recovery and identification difficult. Not sure how resilient modern formats are to data loss, but afaik e.g. AVI is quite reliant on the description of the stream (which iirc is inconveniently placed at the end of the file).

[–] a4ng3l@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Nha my dude you’re lying to yourself if you think that it is nearly enough to survive the level of forensics that will happen in case of a motivated investigation. You need the whole multipass erasure and overwriting or you’re toast. It takes hours…

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[–] three@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

The boys and I have a racist group chat and my hard drive is full of kiddie porn and audio recordings of women peeing in public restrooms.

lmfao you're going to need a more robust destruction plan

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[–] Valmond@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Better to have a "spare" pc under your desk, with the real one hidden.

Cheaper and you won't accidentally wipe your pc all the time.

But what are you all having on up your PCs??

[–] SlurpingPus@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

Where I am, having a networked machine cemented up in the wall is the national pastime, for when a bunch of masked policemen show up with automatic rifles. As for what's on that machine, that's another national sport because no one is paying for those bastards to harass businesses.

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