this post was submitted on 18 Feb 2026
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People don't explain what they mean by "You're too nice". They mean "be more assertive". That means stand up for yourself and others. Not "be an asshole". The attention you would get from being an asshole isn't what you think it is.
I had a work evaluation one year and my only negative was basically "Too nice" and I am oretty sure that lines up to what you are saying about assertiveness.
I actually think that isn't even the case most of the time. I think usually "you are too nice" actually just means "I like you and the way you act, I am just not attracted to you".
The problem with just being honest about the lack of attraction, is that many people will take it to mean something is wrong with them, or even that attraction still might be possible if they just try harder. It's hard to accept that some people just won't be attracted to you, even if you do everything right. It isn't a "game" you can always win.
Yeah, like if you're going 45 on the highway, go faster. But not 120.
Unless you're in Germany Ü
I would definitely not recommend doing 45 on a German highway, or any other European highway for that matter, unless you're in a traffic jam. 😋