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Hegseth says he’ll order random pizzas to throw off monitoring app (thehill.com)

submitted 13 hours ago by tonytins@pawb.social to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

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Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth jokingly said any surge in takeout deliveries to the Pentagon — a phenomenon that has accurately predicted the start of major geopolitical events — could be him ordering pizza “just to throw everybody off.”

Asked about the “Pentagon Pizza Report,” an account on X that tracks activity at local pizza joints near the U.S. military hub, Hegseth said he was aware of the account.

“I’ve thought of just ordering lots of pizza on random nights just to throw everybody off,” he said Sunday on Fox News. “Some Friday night when you see a bunch of Dominos orders, it might just be me on an app, throwing the whole system off so we keep everybody off balance. We look at every indicator.”

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[–] tomiant@piefed.social 2 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago) (2 children)

That would do nothing to block the alleged information leak. You'd simply count the number of pizzas reaching homeless shelters instead, and if there's a lower than normal amount, you know we're gonna invade Iran. I mean, know it even harder.

[–] XeroxCool@lemmy.world 1 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

It's not to track via homeless shelters, the joke is that he's willing to waste food as Americans face food concerns.

[–] tomiant@piefed.social 2 points 3 hours ago

I know. And the joke is that it wouldn't work for other reasons.

[–] ilinamorato@lemmy.world 1 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago) (1 children)

If you pull some random amount off the stack every day and store it to pass along on the next day, and build up a rolling reserve before pulling from that reserve for invasion day, you could hide that tell pretty effectively.

[–] tomiant@piefed.social 2 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago)

This is precisely how it should be done and how it would never be done because of their abject incompetence, the absurdity of the whole idea aside. :)