Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

Anon is often crazy.
Anon is often depressed.
Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works

409

Anon observes a coworker (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 2 months ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works

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[–] tetris11@feddit.uk 12 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

I am over 7 feet tall and have won several male beauty pageants. Throngs of of overaged women would break into the store next door at night in order to smell the very toilet paper that I may one day use. At the time it seemed frightening, but in retrospect it was pretty flattering

[–] Hadriscus@jlai.lu 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I stand just shy of 300 feet tall and my beard is made of tentacles. I speak smoothly the lost language of R'lyeh and let me tell you- there's plenty of fish in the sea

[–] ToTheGraveMyLove@sh.itjust.works 11 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

I'm 12 miles tall and eat planets for fun. This crazy chick has followed me across half the galaxy on a surfboard and wont leave me alone.

[–] Restaldt@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I am the concept of height itsself.

Everyone is obsessed with me.

[–] johnyreeferseed@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 months ago

I on the other hand am extremely small. One time this ant wouldn't leave me alone and I had to yell "leave me alone aunt Becky!". Now I'm not invited to family picnics anymore.