this post was submitted on 27 Mar 2026
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Well that depends on a lot of factors. One of them being the distance of dick to floor of every one they would jerk. Call that D2F.
Hopefully they thought of it.
Someone already done a paper on it:
https://ia800308.us.archive.org/32/items/pdfy-tG1MuMpwvrML6QD0/228831637-Optimal-Tip-to-Tip-Efficiency.pdf
Abstract A probabilistic model is introduced for the problem of stimulating a large male audience. Double jerking is considered, in which two shafts may be stimulated with a single hand. Both tip-to-tip and shaft-to-shaft configurations of audience members are analyzed. We demonstrate that pre-sorting members of the audience according to both shaft girth and leg length allows for more efficient stimulation. Simulations establish steady rates of stimulation even as the variance of certain parameters is allowed to grow, whereas naive unsorted schemes have increasingly flaccid perfor- mance.
Some people will have you believe it's all about the angle of the dangle, while we all know it's about length times diameter plus weight over girth divided by angle of the tip squared.