this post was submitted on 31 Mar 2026
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I never really understood the fascination with ranch that some people have.
I was sitting in a Walmart parking lot in rural Iowa many years ago waiting for my inlaws to finish shopping. An older couple, probably early 60s, starts unloading their groceries into the station wagon next to me. The woman grabs a bottle of ranch from one of the bags, takes a long swig, screws the lid back on, tosses it into the trunk, and continues unloading the cart.
It was the most American thing I've seen outside of a jail cell.
Ranch it up bro!
As a Californian this is why the fly over states disgust me. At least when I'm weird with food it at least has two primary ingredients, like the nacho dog which is basically just taking a hot dog and dipping it in nacho sauce.
I'll never forget being in Charleston SC and eating two hot dogs, one with chili and coleslaw and the other with like fucking eight ounces of Mac and cheese.
They were also called like the Aretha Franklin and Frankie Muniz or some shit it was absolutely wonderful shout-out perfectly franks lol
Ranch is gross tbh
I've found that basically all commercial ranch (hidden valley) is mostly just soybean oil and doesn't taste like shit.
A local pizza joint to me has custom made ranch that is unironically amazing. YMMV.
Homemade ranch (or at least, mixed up on site for restaurants) can be really good. There’s a bar near me that serves a great ranch with their buffalo wings. The thick, globby stuff in the bottles never lives up to expectations.
Nothing wrong with thick, if it's got good flavor. I wish I had gotten Po' Folks (a southern food restaurant chain local to me) ranch dressing recipe before it went out of business during the pandemic. It actually had identifiable chunks of minced carrot etc. suspended in it.
I miss it so much, along with a few other things from that place, that I'm almost motivated to try to track down somebody who used to work there and remembers.
You can Google and find results for that ranch recipe. Not sure how it compares to the original.
Got a link? I found one AJC article with a recipe for the tuna salad, which uses the ranch dressing as an ingredient, but it doesn't include a recipe for the dressing itself.
"That" ranch recipe, from that specific restaurant, is noticeably different from any ranch I've had anywhere else. Random southern-style ranch recipes aren't what I'm looking for.
Yup. I’ve never had a good mass produced Ranch. Homemade Ranch is crazy good.
Is the local place Jet’s? People go crazy for their ranch around here
No it's a locally owned pizzeria that has a secret recipe. I've been told it's primarily a lard base.
Maybe this is just the American within me speaking, but I unironically enjoy comercial sauces. If it was disgusting, no one would buy them.
I love ranch sauce.
This is not about ranch sauce specifically, but i found a good channel (FoodParables) which has a video for making your own ranch seasoning at home. If it's of interest. Linked on the channel name in brackets
I tried some Paul Newman's Ranch once, never having had ranch before. It was bloody awful!
Diplet detected.
Ranch is merely the primer for the second coating of whichever sauce you prefer.
I never understood the fascination with becoming as fat as possible
some people have their lizard brains react very poorly to the amount of sugar and fat and salt that's inside modern hyper palatable food. i don't think many people necessarily want to get fat enough to be at risk for various diseases, it just happens to them. and there are also people more at risk for impulsive actions or less control over their actions, like people with adhd and autism.
a lot of the information on nutrition out there is also either pure propaganda or meant to muddy the waters, so sometimes for people who aren't very into nerding out over things it can be difficult to understand what good nutrition might be like.
Sugar has addictive properties, including withdrawal and relapse patterns similar to dependence forming drugs. It obviously doesn't affect everyone the same way, but a subset of people are at a much higher risk. Make them poor and put them in a sedentary society where all cheap food is made hyper-palatable with excess sugar and fat and...drumroll... they turn obese.
Shaming all fat people isn't much better than the old caricature of drunkard indigenous Americans. There's systemic issues at play.
Really good freshmixed stuff is 3x better than generic store bought.
A lot of the places use to much mayo when they mix and it ends up mayo sauce. I've heard good things about cutting down the mayo with sour cream though.
Its almost the same as the fascination the Japanese have with mayonnaise, honestly.
I guess its some kind of cultural palette thing.