this post was submitted on 31 Mar 2026
512 points (98.7% liked)

Greentext

8137 readers
432 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] IrateAnteater@sh.itjust.works 95 points 2 weeks ago (6 children)

I never really understood the fascination with ranch that some people have.

[–] adhocfungus@midwest.social 73 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I was sitting in a Walmart parking lot in rural Iowa many years ago waiting for my inlaws to finish shopping. An older couple, probably early 60s, starts unloading their groceries into the station wagon next to me. The woman grabs a bottle of ranch from one of the bags, takes a long swig, screws the lid back on, tosses it into the trunk, and continues unloading the cart.

It was the most American thing I've seen outside of a jail cell.

[–] vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

As a Californian this is why the fly over states disgust me. At least when I'm weird with food it at least has two primary ingredients, like the nacho dog which is basically just taking a hot dog and dipping it in nacho sauce.

[–] SwifferWetjet@thelemmy.club 2 points 3 days ago

I'll never forget being in Charleston SC and eating two hot dogs, one with chili and coleslaw and the other with like fucking eight ounces of Mac and cheese.

They were also called like the Aretha Franklin and Frankie Muniz or some shit it was absolutely wonderful shout-out perfectly franks lol

[–] hesh@quokk.au 31 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] empireOfLove2@lemmy.dbzer0.com 44 points 2 weeks ago (5 children)

I've found that basically all commercial ranch (hidden valley) is mostly just soybean oil and doesn't taste like shit.

A local pizza joint to me has custom made ranch that is unironically amazing. YMMV.

[–] hydrashok@sh.itjust.works 19 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Homemade ranch (or at least, mixed up on site for restaurants) can be really good. There’s a bar near me that serves a great ranch with their buffalo wings. The thick, globby stuff in the bottles never lives up to expectations.

[–] grue@lemmy.world 10 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Nothing wrong with thick, if it's got good flavor. I wish I had gotten Po' Folks (a southern food restaurant chain local to me) ranch dressing recipe before it went out of business during the pandemic. It actually had identifiable chunks of minced carrot etc. suspended in it.

I miss it so much, along with a few other things from that place, that I'm almost motivated to try to track down somebody who used to work there and remembers.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] RunJun@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 2 weeks ago

Yup. I’ve never had a good mass produced Ranch. Homemade Ranch is crazy good.

[–] bran_buckler@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Is the local place Jet’s? People go crazy for their ranch around here

[–] empireOfLove2@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 2 weeks ago

No it's a locally owned pizzeria that has a secret recipe. I've been told it's primarily a lard base.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] snoons@lemmy.ca 17 points 2 weeks ago

Diplet detected.

Ranch is merely the primer for the second coating of whichever sauce you prefer.

[–] FatVegan@leminal.space 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I never understood the fascination with becoming as fat as possible

[–] baguettefish@discuss.tchncs.de 11 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

some people have their lizard brains react very poorly to the amount of sugar and fat and salt that's inside modern hyper palatable food. i don't think many people necessarily want to get fat enough to be at risk for various diseases, it just happens to them. and there are also people more at risk for impulsive actions or less control over their actions, like people with adhd and autism.

a lot of the information on nutrition out there is also either pure propaganda or meant to muddy the waters, so sometimes for people who aren't very into nerding out over things it can be difficult to understand what good nutrition might be like.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Einskjaldi@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Really good freshmixed stuff is 3x better than generic store bought.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] apftwb@lemmy.world 50 points 2 weeks ago
[–] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 43 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

At some point you gotta admit the nuggies are only there so you're not shoving spoonfuls of ranch down your gullet

[–] nutsack@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Alexstarfire@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago

Some people like nuggets. No need to shame.

[–] kamenlady@lemmy.world 38 points 2 weeks ago

Diplet detected

[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 24 points 2 weeks ago (10 children)

Why do I want to try this now

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 17 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Because you touch yourself at night!

[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] chunkystyles@sopuli.xyz 8 points 2 weeks ago

...does that make it better for you?

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (9 replies)
[–] Electric_Druid@lemmy.world 20 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

"diplet detected"

People will pick anything to act superior about, huh

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 17 points 2 weeks ago

Some people are just better at being Superior than others

[–] NannerBanner@literature.cafe 11 points 2 weeks ago

I mean, that's basically the entire premise of any insult on 4chan. The original days had anything be an insult simply by appending '-fag' at the end.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 17 points 2 weeks ago (11 children)

chopsticks. you need chopsticks

[–] EldenLord@lemmy.world 10 points 2 weeks ago

And coronary occlusion emergency surgery. Sooner or later.

load more comments (10 replies)
[–] MercuryGenisus@lemmy.world 15 points 2 weeks ago

This is next level science of dipping here.

[–] FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world 14 points 2 weeks ago

Anon is so sauce-pilled that he buries th fkavour and texture of the actual nugget. He is PUNISHING himself

[–] peteypete420@sh.itjust.works 14 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

The use of the cupcake tray for a dipping sauce tray is pretty great. Im always excited when my kitchenware has multiple purposes.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] silver@das-eck.haus 14 points 2 weeks ago

A scientist in his prime

[–] sniggleboots@europe.pub 13 points 2 weeks ago

Remember, a thin paint will stick to a thick paint. Thanks, Bob Ross

[–] NannerBanner@literature.cafe 13 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

Weird. Since when did 4chan (or any of its lookalikes) have quotation boxes?

[–] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 2 weeks ago

since always I think, you just hover over the post ID link and it inlines it (only while hovering, though)

[–] kartoffelsaft@programming.dev 8 points 2 weeks ago

For basically any chan board when you hover over a ">>#######" it shows the post it points to.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 11 points 2 weeks ago

Im a double dipper because I never share my tendies

[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 10 points 2 weeks ago

medium rare nuggies

[–] saturn57@lemmy.world 10 points 2 weeks ago

If your plate doesn't look like a pallet of paint after you've loaded it up, are you really living?

[–] kat_angstrom@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago

This is a sauce delivery system at peak efficiency.

[–] general_kitten@sopuli.xyz 7 points 2 weeks ago

id say most of the time whatever you are dipping is the secondary thing, you just want to eat the dip but eating it by itself is too overwhelming.

the right ratio of salsa to nacho is 2 parts salsa 1 part nacho so

2:1 ratio (by mass)

[–] rumba@lemmy.zip 7 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

shiii

I just throw the nuggets in a large mixing bowl. Toss in a couple tbl of Gochujang, 1 tbl toasted sesame oil a tsp of honey, some sesame seeds, 2 tsp garlic powder, green onion, thin shallot, and a nice healthy dose of kosher salt. If I'm feeling fusiony, i'll swap the salt with Sazon seasoning.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] OR3X@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

ngl that picture looks unappealing af

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] MashedTech@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago

That's why knowing physics and densities matter. It allows you to multi-dip without contamination.

[–] Hello_there@fedia.io 5 points 2 weeks ago

Next-generation fatassery

load more comments
view more: next ›