this post was submitted on 09 Jun 2026
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Yeah, I mean they do have to be able to communicate with their friends, listen to audiobooks... Do their homework assignments, look up the bus schedule or text/call mom to pick them up, read/watch stuff if they like... Learn about the world. So there needs to be some sane way to do these things.
But it's not like anyone needs to send in their ID to Google to accomplish that.
While I'm 100% on your side here and I make a point to champion the actual values of these anxiety riddled glass boxes, I do want to point out that we can do all that without them. My kid didn't get modern electronics until he was competent with paper books, dictionary, and offline only tech.
That said, the added stance here is that we can have both. My kid's phone is locked down to the point that he can't even message contacts that I didn't approve. It's all operated in house from his phone, my phone, and the shit box excuse for a server I run. I have a curated plan for how he'll earn his way up to full access and planned strategies for teaching him the safety and independence he needs. I know exactly fuck all about tech, can't remember any commands for Linux, struggled to understand Docker, but still managed to make it happen. If I can pull it off, the only thing stopping literally anyone else is the choice not to do it.
Hmmh. Is there good Free Software to do these things with a Linux server at home?
Right now I'm using a combination of Home Assistant on the server, GrapheneOS on the phones, a pihole set up as a DNS whitelist, and an app that escapes me from F-droid that locks other apps bases on screen time. Took me maybe 10min to find everything and 2 months to set up but that was mostly due to my sheer incompetence when it comes to anything that isn't physical. Along the way I even got a jellyfin server going age appropriate music and video sectioned off for him. When he's responsible enough for it I'll be teaching him how to pirate his own content.
Awesome!
My first computer of my own was a wiped surplus machine my father brought home from work, with a pack of Redhat floppies and an 800 page user manual in a binder. I was allowed to do whatever I wanted on it as long as I could figure it out myself.
So like, now I have a PhD in engineering. Weird how that works.
Schoolwork aside, none of those things are critical. I haven't used Facebook since like 2009 and I turned into a successful, relatively well adjusted adult. I suppose there was even a good bit of porn thrown in there from time to time.
Idk. That's a bit of a treacherous point in itself. I mean first of all life isn't supposed to be just the bare essentials. But than that argument gets abused a lot, the usual stuff being "a bit of beating didn't harm me"... but it probably did. At least I've rarely seen it been used in a good context. I'd say it depends. Some things used to be better, or simpler back in the days. Some weren't. I think a lot of things (in society) improved in the 20 years or so since I've finished growing up. I don't think the internet did. All the social media stuff got way worse. But it's complicated. I don't see any reason to be on 4chan at 13yo. But at the same time we also don't want some "clean" dystopian society like in the dark sci-fi movies. Sexuality is part of life. And so is making mistakes, experiences...