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Residents Beg Michigan Mayor to Stop Solar Eclipse - He Scientifically Can't (rivergrandrapids.com)

submitted 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

38 comments fedilink hide all child comments

“I've been told that I need to stop this eclipse and I do not have the authority to do that. So yes, people are really concerned. But we're just trying to prepare them.”

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[–] ZeroCool@slrpnk.net 33 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)

Yeah it’s a funny headline but they’re gonna be overrun with tourists and it’s gonna be pretty inconvenient. Unfortunately celestial bodies don’t care. 🤷‍♂️

[–] ChicoSuave@lemmy.world 9 points 2 years ago (1 children)

At the end of the article it asks "why come to Luna Pier when you can be in Toledo with get better amenities and the eclipse lasts longer?"

[–] ramble81@lemm.ee 7 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

Because things are too expensive and sold out in ~~Toronto~~ Toledo.They’re not in Luna Pier.

Edit: Geography’s hard….

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)

You're off by a few letters or 250+ miles there 😄

[–] ours@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

Toledo: the Great White North.

[–] ramble81@lemm.ee 2 points 2 years ago

Ha! I’d say a few letters.

[–] ours@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Everybody knows celestial bodies only listen to us if we do a proper human sacrifice. Preferably from a tall place.

[–] melpomenesclevage@lemm.ee 7 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

And ideally of someone who doesn't fuck.

Its the 21st century, I think we can do better than 'a virgin'.

Anybody here ace and suicidal, maybe looking to spite the literal heavens? You could make a small town very happy. Especially if you're into mountaineering.

[–] ours@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Some cultures "offered" free drugs/alcohol for the sacrificed. Might find some takers.

[–] melpomenesclevage@lemm.ee 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Yeah, I think I could get my hands on some stuff.

The Aztecs did not have LSD and E.

[–] zarkanian@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

They had mushrooms.

[–] melpomenesclevage@lemm.ee 2 points 2 years ago

Yeah, and some other stuff, but dude; not the same.

I like mushrooms, but they're not the same thing.