this post was submitted on 09 Jun 2024
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[–] GregorGizeh@lemmy.zip 10 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

I dont think suggesting transphobia when it comes to sexual preferences is appropriate, people can't choose those any more than they can choose to be black or white. There are also simple biological facts, perhaps a person wishes to have biological children with their partner. Or any other reason really, romantic preferences are entirely subjective and often not even a conscious preference.

That being said, i think a good compromise would be for people to be able to give these kinds of personal preferences to the dating site, similar to the age ranges they want to encounter. Then the system would automatically prevent incompatible preferences from getting matched, and nobody has to out themselves.

[–] tabular@lemmy.world 3 points 5 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

Perhaps they were not suggesting deep end transphobia (hate) but just low end aversion? You should have the right to not date a trans person, or a person with different skin color, but we could ask would it be better if none of us cared about that?

If we look for the source of people's choices one may find the answer to also be biology, with the rest being enviroment. The conventional wisdom of blaming people for their choices is not supported by evidence. Even the most evil people in history didn't choose to have a psychopathic personality, or choose their bad parents, or their hateful beliefs.

[–] GregorGizeh@lemmy.zip 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Your second paragraph is just the point I am trying to make no? People can't choose who they love or are attracted (or not attracted) to.

So I am uncomfortable with the suggestion that any cis person who doesnt want to date a trans person should set up a disclaimer on their profile, with the afterthought insinuating that they shouldn't have an issue with that unless they are secretly transphobic, or trans averse as you put it.

Personally I (as a straight cis dude) am very supportive of equal rights for non straight people, and think they are a beautiful facet of mankind. I would be fully supporting most of their causes, but that doesnt mean I am suddenly attracted to, broadly speaking, not cis women. I can't change that, or make an exception for someone, that's simply not how I was wired. Would you consider that trans averse? Honest question.