this post was submitted on 23 Jun 2024
484 points (98.4% liked)

Not The Onion

12344 readers
975 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] dhork@lemmy.world 135 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (2 children)

Moses : The Lord, the Lord Jehovah has given unto you these fifteen...

[drops one of the tablets]

Moses : Oy! Ten! Ten commandments for all to obey

[–] MrsDoyle@lemmy.world 77 points 5 months ago (5 children)

What's funny is that (according to the old testament) when Moses came down off the mountain with the tablets and found everyone worshipping the golden calf, he had a big hissy fit and smashed them. So then after doing quite a bit of murdering he had to go back up the mountain to get a second set. Exodus 32-34

I asked a religious relative how it was ok for Moses to murder people when he had only just be told by God himself "thou shalt not kill", and she said it was because the don't kill thing came further down the list than having only the one god.

[–] match@pawb.social 36 points 5 months ago

Asimov's Ten Laws of Holy Robotics

[–] rwhitisissle@lemmy.world 22 points 5 months ago (1 children)

As a note, the Israelites would in later generations go on to kill a shitload of people. It's one of those things where it seems like the Bible only really considers it murder if God doesn't sanction it. It's honestly one of the many sticking points that makes Abrahamic religions a hard sell for modern individuals. That said, if you look at it from a historical perspective, it really comes across more like a religious version of the Code of Hammurabi. It's less "don't kill" as a philosophical or religious position and more about sanctions against killing in a practical legal sense. A functioning society has laws that formally govern behavior and the Israelites were essentially an ecclesiarchy, with Moses being both head of state and high priest. The same laws that governed social life were always going to intersect with laws that governed spiritual life.

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 7 points 5 months ago

Moses himself commands an army to genocide before and after Mt Sinai

[–] FiskFisk33@startrek.website 16 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (2 children)

The bible seems to consider it murder only if it's another christian.

[if someone] has gone and served other gods and worshiped them, [...] you shall stone that man or woman to death with stones.

-Deuteronomy 17:2-5

If your brother, the son of your mother, or your son or your daughter or the wife you embrace or your friend who is as your own soul entices you secretly, saying, ‘Let us go and serve other gods,’ [...] you shall kill him. Your hand shall be first against him to put him to death.

-Deuteronomy 13:6-10

[–] frezik@midwest.social 13 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] FiskFisk33@startrek.website -1 points 4 months ago

Right, that wasn't the right word there, but you get what I mean.

[–] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 4 points 5 months ago (1 children)

you shall stone that man or woman to death with stones

Pretty specific - I guess that closes the "get them high" loophole.

[–] FiskFisk33@startrek.website 3 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

I hope you interpret "to death" as an euphemism in that case hah

[–] ASeriesOfPoorChoices@lemmy.world 6 points 5 months ago

we don't know if the "don't murder" thing was on the original list.

[–] Artyom@lemm.ee 1 points 5 months ago

Hmb while I go kill someone for not keeping the holy sabbath day and honoring their father and mother cuz god recommended it.

[–] subignition@fedia.io 19 points 5 months ago (3 children)

I love this because what if actually? What if there's literally a buzzfeed tier list of five things to do we're missing for a utopian society? And mankind fucked it like we always do.

[–] corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca 28 points 5 months ago

You want the Council of Nicea where a pagan edited the Bible by decapitating people expressing ideas he didn't want in it.

[–] NeptuneOrbit@lemmy.world 25 points 5 months ago

God gave plenty more laws in the next few books of the Bible. The famous commandments about not mixing fabrics or cutting your hair? Yeah Moses of the Ten Commandments is behind that book too.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 7 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Thats assuming you're saying religion would have brought us utopia.

[–] subignition@fedia.io 10 points 5 months ago

For the sake of this wild fantasy, yeah. I'm not gonna be too picky

Who's to say commandment #11 wasn't "lmao jk ok but for real just these four things:"