this post was submitted on 07 May 2024
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[–] ceasarlegsvin@kbin.social 118 points 6 months ago (2 children)
  • run a speed test on my quantum computer so I know how fast it's running

  • it vanishes without a trace

[–] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 18 points 6 months ago

Damn, that one's running fast!

It is currently all the way in Australia by now.

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 58 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Next time, just assume the CPU is both upgraded and not upgraded at the same time.

[–] graham1@lemmy.world 51 points 6 months ago (2 children)

QPU*

well it was a QPU before being observed

[–] RightHandOfIkaros@lemmy.world 20 points 6 months ago

Yeah, now its a BPU.

[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 8 points 6 months ago

QPU is a legit name for Quad Processing Unit, which is used as shaders in Broadcom's Videocore line of products.

[–] MxM111@kbin.social 36 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Well, your quantum twin observed the opposite. Be glad for him.

[–] answersplease77@lemmy.world 7 points 6 months ago (1 children)

in an alternative universe

[–] jnk@sh.itjust.works 13 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Wait does that mean we have multiversal networking?

... I don't know how this is the first thing that went through my mind, but i bet there is a self-datintg app already. You can bonk me now.

[–] UnRelatedBurner@sh.itjust.works 5 points 6 months ago (1 children)

You'd like that, won't you?

[–] jnk@sh.itjust.works 4 points 6 months ago

Not me, but maybe "me" actually does idk

[–] MxM111@kbin.social 4 points 6 months ago

Quantum dating. A very quick and uncertain date.

[–] Klear@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago

He observed the UPC?

[–] r00ty@kbin.life 21 points 6 months ago

This would only happen if you tried to delid the quantum CPU. So, not only is it bricked, but you also voided the warranty!

[–] Hjalamanger@feddit.nu 18 points 6 months ago

The trick is to not observe it but to simply glance over it as if you didn't give a f*ck about it and pretend like your simply trying to avoid walking into it. Look right at it and you may hurt it's feelings causing it to brick itself

THIS DOCUMENT IS NOT A COMPLETE GUIDE TO HANDLING A QUANTUM COMPUTER. YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY HARM THAT YOU MAY CAUSE TO YOURSELF OR THE SPACE TIME AROUND. QUANTUM COMPUTERS ARE DANGEROUS AND HURTING THERE FEELINGS MAY CAUSE IMMEDIATE DESTRUCTION OF THE SPACETIME AROUND THEM.

[–] stembolts@programming.dev 10 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Pls don't shoot me with your electron gun eyes sir.

[–] SturgiesYrFase@lemmy.ml 5 points 6 months ago

That'll be bout treefiddy, and if you change your mind and decide you do want the electron gun eyeball treatment.....another treefiddy

[–] doggle@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 6 months ago (2 children)

I've never understood what counts as 'observing' in this context... Just looking at the thing, perhaps with some kind of microscope/tool? Does it have to be a person who observes it? How about a dog? Or a paramecium?

I think I'm missing some important piece to this.

[–] Cethin@lemmy.zip 12 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

It's any interaction that counts. That could be with your eye, but it's usually with any other particle that needs to know the position of another. That could be part of a measuring device, or anything else. If information is needed to "do physics" with it then the waveform collapses so the interaction can be performed.

It has absolutely nothing to do with consciousness.

[–] voldage@lemmy.world 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I might be talking out of my ass a bit, but if I remember it correctly the "observer" part was about it being impossible to measure velocity and observe a location of a thing (electron, photon etc. I think) at the same point in time. I don't think it actually had an effect on the particle, i remember there were some bad experiments where the measurement influenced the the thing because the measurement itself like taking a photo or whatever they did was enough to disturb... stuff.

[–] pythonoob@programming.dev 9 points 6 months ago

It's because in order to measure it you need to see it. If you can see it then light is bouncing off it it and these particles are so small that the energy of a photon bouncing off of it will move it.

You crashed the wave function you fool!