this post was submitted on 24 May 2024
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Not The Onion

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[–] andrewta@lemmy.world 31 points 1 year ago (2 children)

He tried and failed.

If he had successfully body slammed a killer whale and the whale returned the favor, would he have succeeded or failed?

[–] DMBFFF@lemmy.world 24 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

He would have succeeded; and that point would probably be reiterated a few times at his funeral.

[–] Plopp@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Man, think about the views tho. Everyone would want to watch that. So many new subscribers!

[–] Gork@lemm.ee 6 points 1 year ago

If they SMASHED that Subscribe button then that's all that really matters.

[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

He would have been yeeted into the stratosphere

[–] Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone 31 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The man yells “I touched it” to the other people on the boat and then asks “Did you get that?” in an apparent reference to whether his encounter with the orca was successfully filmed. He then tries to touch the animal again. Other people aboard the vessel can be heard laughing and cheering in the background.

Fuck it, fine them too.

[–] jonne@infosec.pub 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Eh, they might've been cheering for the orca.

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 4 points 1 year ago

My sources have it that one guy in the back was just cheering for the cheering.

[–] Boozilla@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago

Historians of the future will remark that we lived in a time when "many humans were so stupid they forgot wild animals can kill them easily".

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 11 points 1 year ago

That is the funniest possible picture that could have accompanied that headline. It’s like he’s a fucking aquatic creature himself 🤣

[–] Taniwha420@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago

That's not too fair. Poor guy. Someone has to fight back. Are we sure it wasn't self-defense? Maybe they were trying to sink his yacht?

[–] xc2215x@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

Incredibly idiotic. Wow.

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

"Stop fucking with the orcas! They already be attacking ships at random, you're just gonna piss 'em off even more!"

[–] snowe@programming.dev 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

According to a video I watched yesterday, it’s not random, it’s because they’re bored teenagers

Hilariously I left this post then scrolled down just a few posts and found this. https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2024/05/24/killer-whales-attacking-sinking-boats-are-bored-scientists-say/73558157007/

[–] JustZ@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

That's just what they're telling people so that we don't find out that the orcas are accelerationists to class war. They see what's really going on.

[–] Spacehooks@reddthat.com 1 points 1 year ago

Probably same for the orcas

[–] xx3rawr@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 year ago

I first read it as "Man is fine after trying to 'body slam' killer whale" expecting a meh orca encounter.

[–] Raiderkev@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"body slam"

Guy like barely grazes it.

[–] Donut@leminal.space 2 points 1 year ago

Keyword being "trying"

[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED IN THE OCEAN OF MADNESS

[–] Donut@leminal.space 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Could have made Darwin proud that day. Alas, a slap on the wrist in the form of a $600 fine and they live to harass another whale in the future.

Really should have gotten some time in a cell to reflect on his stupidity

[–] BarrelAgedBoredom@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago

I thought kiwis were more tame than aussies