this post was submitted on 02 Jun 2024
630 points (96.6% liked)

Greentext

4430 readers
976 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works 129 points 5 months ago (13 children)

Wants to get his shit together -- becomes a plumber.

[–] nifty@lemmy.world 97 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Plumbers make bank, they’re in demand a lot

[–] MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works 89 points 5 months ago (2 children)

They literally keep the shit of other people together... I don't know why I thought the people of green text would get the joke.

[–] nifty@lemmy.world 35 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Aaah I am dense, thanks

FYI wasn’t criticizing you, was just saying

[–] Croquette@sh.itjust.works 9 points 5 months ago

It took me a double read to get the joke. I'm dumdum

[–] sexual_tomato@lemmy.dbzer0.com 40 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Now he's getting other people's shit together

[–] Screemu@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 5 months ago

At any time he can lay a deuce in one of them pipes and get paid for it too.

[–] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 30 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (3 children)

Trades like plumber, electricians, etc make good money. Especially if they unionize and get that OT.

[–] PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee 16 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Problem is breaking into them

Everyone wants more tradesmen but none of the current tradesmen want to train any

[–] MintyFresh@lemmy.world 13 points 5 months ago

They're desperate now days. When I was younger and 20ish I tried breaking in and was basically told if I didn't have a friend or family in to forget about it. I eventually found myself a niche in the trades, but it was rough and not what I wanted. Now we're facing this demographic shift away from the boomers and because they where dicks about it then, it's a thing now.

I encourage any young person reading this who feels the slightest inclination to make a circut of their local union halls.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] MindTraveller@lemmy.ca 10 points 5 months ago

And crucially, they keep everyone's shit together

[–] MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works 6 points 5 months ago
[–] Big_Boss_77@lemmynsfw.com 14 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I mean... if you're going to start getting shit together... there are worse places to start.

[–] MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works 9 points 5 months ago (1 children)

The only other better option for keeping shit together would be waste water management.

[–] uis@lemm.ee 4 points 5 months ago (1 children)

But waste water managment ends in treatment plant, which separates shit altogether.

[–] MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works 4 points 5 months ago

But it keeps the shit together.

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 9 points 5 months ago

Now he can get other people's shit together, too.

[–] MehBlah@lemmy.world 7 points 5 months ago (1 children)

anon is still slinging that crack.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (7 replies)
[–] DaddleDew@lemmy.world 62 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Plumbers make hand over fist if they're good at their job. Many people get turned away by the "you deal with shit pipes" stigma so whoever sticks around are in huge demand.

[–] Peppycito@sh.itjust.works 45 points 5 months ago (1 children)

It's not so much what the pipes hold that turns me off, it's where the pipes are. Crawl spaces and attics and other shit holes. You get paid so well because it's not a very glamorous job.

[–] Xanis@lemmy.world 12 points 5 months ago (2 children)

I have Arachnophobia. Despite working on it in small ways throughout my life, I still get an extremely strong flight response when one is too close. I enjoy working with my hands and am decent at it. Sometimes I feel just a little cursed. A wee eight-legged dude that wants absolutely nothing to do with me and I'm the one having a freakout.

[–] NOT_RICK@lemmy.world 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)

You can work on phobias like that in therapy

[–] Xanis@lemmy.world 6 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Sure I can. How would you recommend I afford therapy for a phobia that only impacts my life rarely?

[–] NOT_RICK@lemmy.world 8 points 5 months ago (1 children)

My bad, I think I came across judgmental. I’ve got a heights phobia myself

[–] Xanis@lemmy.world 5 points 5 months ago

That's alright. Just that therapy is, unfortunately, all too often an expense that falls far down the list. Housing, food, and other bills and only then MAYBE therapy if it's feasible. It helps, though the stress of paying it might extend your stay.

[–] MintyFresh@lemmy.world 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Arachnophobia is weird one too. It has it's roots so far down our brain stem from billions of years of "fuck no spider!" Like flying and confinement are phobias that happen farther up the consciousness ladder. Spiders, and to a lesser extent snakes are in our like bios settings. Came with the motherboard

[–] tooclose104@lemmy.ca 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I usually get that "this is fine" mantra going on repeat until it either touches me or I'm done and wig the fuck out of there. On the rare occasion I tell the spider we're fine so long as we leave each other be and it's all sunshine and rainbows. Brains are weird.

The second there's more than 2 or it's bigger than a toonie I'm bringing fire though.

[–] MintyFresh@lemmy.world 4 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Canadian!?!? What do you know aboot spiders!? Lol

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] Zoot@reddthat.com 3 points 5 months ago

I am also terrified of spiders. It helps to pretend that there are no spiders where your hands are, and thats just insulation and dust... not spider webs... yep yep yep!

[–] MintyFresh@lemmy.world 25 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

I knew a plumber growing up. Dude walked around with a wad of cash that would make a gangster blush. Used to run into him on jobs all the time. By the time I knew him he was one of those elder assholes, would spend 5min saving the day with wizardry and old man strength, and the rest of the day smoking weed and being hilarious. R I P Lionel, you were a good one

[–] uis@lemm.ee 4 points 5 months ago

I imagined how some gang hired plumber to keep shit together, then they see bill, learn that this is how everyone bills, and become plumbers gang. Sometimes it's called plumbers coop.

[–] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 55 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (3 children)

Sometimes it just takes a little nudge to get your ~~shot~~ shit in order.

Edit: fucking autocorrect.

[–] gramathy@lemmy.ml 28 points 5 months ago

shoots self

Instructions unclear, am dead

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] uis@lemm.ee 19 points 5 months ago

What used to be place for school students now is place for old enough people to have children. This happens. This is internet.

[–] Tb0n3@sh.itjust.works 15 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

OP has the right goals, but having a kid doesn't automatically change your life. Took the dude 9 months to start looking for a job? Yeah. Something tells me nothing is going to change.

Lots of terrible mothers that thought just having a kid would change their life.

[–] Azzu@lemm.ee 13 points 5 months ago (1 children)

It does change your life. We're biologically wired to provide for our offspring. For fathers, the biological changes start only when the child is born and you see it and interact with it, so this "getting your shit together" starting at birth is actually perfectly normal and might certainly work.

[–] Rekorse@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

The implication is the guy is only doing the right thing because he has to. Their point is that they didnt do anything different than before, they still aren't taking any control or responsibility in their life.

[–] bitfucker@programming.dev 7 points 5 months ago (3 children)

And that was the point isn't it? Now he HAS to. Motivation is a precious thing for some people. And if he is indeed doing the right thing because he has to, then by definition he is responsible.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] uis@lemm.ee 10 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Was what I assume was "fag" censored by 4channer or by lemmy poster?

[–] Godric@lemmy.world 12 points 5 months ago (4 children)

Think about it for a minute, the answer may come to you

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] thorbot@lemmy.world 9 points 5 months ago

I’m sure this dude will be a great fucking father. Don’t have kids unless you’re ready for it.

[–] thefrankring@lemmy.world 9 points 5 months ago

I love good comeback stories.

Inspiring.

[–] andrewta@lemmy.world 7 points 5 months ago

First he was a shit. Now he’s dealing with other peoples shit

load more comments
view more: next ›