this post was submitted on 02 Aug 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] count_dongulus@lemmy.world 102 points 3 months ago (1 children)

But decaf is like...the same price or more because of additional manufacturing costs to remove the caffeine content from the beans.

[–] RecluseRamble@lemmy.dbzer0.com 73 points 3 months ago (2 children)

They still sold more of it, easily making up for the slightly higher cost.

[–] blargerer@kbin.melroy.org 50 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Also, only having to stock one type reduces inventory, which has a bunch of cost saving, even if they got a slightly more expensive base product.

[–] GraniteM@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago

And you only need to maintain one pot of coffee at a time, saving space and equipment.

[–] RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] assassin6@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 3 months ago

It says in the post that people assume they need more coffee

[–] scytale@lemm.ee 68 points 3 months ago (11 children)

Can regular coffee drinkers notice the difference taste-wise? I’m the opposite of a coffee connoisseur and I drink any kind of brewed and instant coffee (including decaf) and can’t tell the difference.

[–] bigoljim@lemmy.ml 78 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Side by side, trying one after the other. I can tell they taste different. But walking into a place blind, and only getting one. I think it might be hard to tell.

[–] bobs_monkey@lemm.ee 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Side by side you'll notice the little kick depending on strength. But you'd likely be full placebo none the wiser.

[–] Klear@lemmy.world 22 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I was at a concert drinking my fourth beer, getting nicely buzzed when someone told me those were alcohol-free and I just sobered up instantly. It was awful.

[–] brbposting@sh.itjust.works 6 points 3 months ago

Ouch, your wallet

Alcohol-free buzz worked on TV too

[–] bamboo@lemmy.blahaj.zone 33 points 3 months ago

Taste-wise? Probably not. But I'd know by 11am because the caffeine withdrawal would start and I'd get headaches.

[–] rockSlayer@lemmy.world 24 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I'm a pretty avid coffee enjoyer, and I can't tell the difference. The stuff that you can buy chemically decaffeinated are made by brands that generally sell lower quality coffee beans in the first place

[–] thanks_shakey_snake@lemmy.ca 22 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Good roasters also usually have a decaf roast on the go. You can taste the difference, but if you're just getting some random restaurant's drip coffee, you'd probably just assume a bunch of things are off about it anyway, so "it's secretly decaf" wouldn't necessarily rank very high.

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[–] RecluseRamble@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 3 months ago

Only if you're sensitive to caffeine.

My sister would feel the difference because her heart goes nuts if she has regular coffee. I wouldn't since I'm an addict with high tolerance. Maybe the headache around noon would make me suspicious but probably not.

[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 14 points 3 months ago (2 children)

As someone who works in taste, people tend to overestimate their tasting abilities. Alcohol free beer, meatless snacks, etc. When presented without focusing attention to taste, people generally don't notice.

If you give both options and are forward about it they will be 50% correct in discerning the 'alternative'. Realization comes more clearly in the absence of physiological change (no inebriation, no caffeine effect).

However if people do find out you're cheating them you can sell legit product all day, but people will still doubt you. So don't expect long term business.

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (7 children)

Alcohol free beer

Um, the smell alone is a dead giveaway, since alcohol has a very distinct smell. I don't drink alcohol, but I assume the taste of alcohol is similarly distinctive.

[–] CodexArcanum@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Beer doesn't usually smell of ethanol, it smells like hops and yeast. Since most AF beers are built to model light ales anyway, I can hardly tell. I've also gotten really into mocktails lately and with the right mixes of bitters and syrups most of them are significantly better than real cocktails. With those, that gasoline taste of ethanol is noticeably absent in a good way!

I know exactly how caffeine affects me though, and would pretty quickly realize I'd been given decaf.

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[–] RobertoOberto@sh.itjust.works 3 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

As someone who works in taste

Is this an exotic way of saying that you're a chef?

[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 4 points 3 months ago

No I'm a sommelier

[–] ipha@lemm.ee 7 points 3 months ago

Side by side I could pick out bad decaf, but I'd struggle to notice good decaf.

On its own I'd just assume I was given a bad to average cup of coffee, which is what I would expect anywhere but home.

[–] doggle@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 3 months ago

Anon says it was a restaurant that happens to serve coffee; not a dedicated coffee shop. So, honestly, probably not. Chances are the coffee would be stale, burned, or just plain poorly brewed regardless of what beans were actually used.

A lot of whining is done about decaf, but it takes a pretty refined palate and a lot of experience consciously tasting the differences to be able to reliably tell the difference by taste alone.

The biggest giveaway is the near total lack of a caffeine buzz, even after several cups. But the placebo effect will go a long way to mitigate that.

[–] Artyom@lemm.ee 5 points 3 months ago

At a cheap diner? You'd have a hard time telling cuz even when you use regular coffee, the caffeine content is pretty low.

[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 4 points 3 months ago

Depends on the coffee.

I developed a sensitivity to caffeine, it basically throws me into a weird heart racing thing at any but the smallest doses.

But I freaking love coffee. So I buy decaf. If you shop around, find a few brands that do water process decaf, you'll end up with something that's good. Not just good enough, but good.

But the chemical process decaf, yeah, I can tell a difference blindfolded. Literally, I won a bet doing it.

The typical name brands, they usually have a fairly over processed taste to begin with. So it's harder to detect, and I can't tell the difference as clearly. It's there, but you have to already have compared them before you can tell blind.

Thing is, part of that is how you drink coffee. If you're drinking it out of habit, or on the go, your brain is going to filter the taste out in favor of other sensory input. You have to be drinking it for the coffee itself, paying attention to the experience.

Chemical process decaf has this layer of unpleasant metallic tang to me. Water process tastes like the same basic roast and bean, just slightly less intense. Things like floral notes get a little muted.

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[–] pigup@lemmy.world 55 points 3 months ago (2 children)

🌈🌞 that's _illegal_🍨🌈

[–] AFC1886VCC@reddthat.com 12 points 3 months ago

Only if you're caught

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 6 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Just don't say your coffee has caffeine in it!

Honestly, you could probably argue in court that given no one complained and caffeine has proven ill effects on health no harm was done.

[–] pigup@lemmy.world 10 points 3 months ago

It's a clear violation of FDA regulations. They say an item must be labeled as what it actually is. They even have official definitions for specific items. Decaf coffee is definitely recognized by the FDA and there are regulations that limit the amount of solvent residue that they use to remove the caffeine. See: https://www.accessdata.fda.gov/scripts/cdrh/cfdocs/cfcfr/CFRSearch.cfm?fr=173.290

It's not the same product as coffee, and actually by giving people decaf, you are making people consume chemical residues that they did not sign up to consume. It's illegal for serious reasons.

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[–] festnt@sh.itjust.works 44 points 3 months ago (1 children)

ah the best financial strategy... lying!

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 30 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

My dad ran a similar business, he was an arborist. When requested to trim or fell a tree on private property, he would inform the owner that the species was protected by state law, and they would need to file an application for exemption. He helped them file it, and they paid him directly to fast track it, plus his quotation and consult fee. Unfortunately, so many of these applications were rejected, and dad could do nothing further to help the home owner, his hands were tied.

There was no such protected species, dude didnt even own a chainsaw.

[–] assassinatedbyCIA@lemmy.world 41 points 3 months ago (1 children)

So fraud. The secret ingredient is fraud.

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 25 points 3 months ago (1 children)

That is what the judge said, yes.

[–] brbposting@sh.itjust.works 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Whoh how long before he got caught? Jail time? Other stories maybe, you got me curious about him

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Bro's lying on the Internet

[–] brbposting@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 months ago

It sounded so real!

[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 43 points 3 months ago (1 children)

From my limited experience of drinking decaf, it usually tastes more watery. Probably wouldn't visit that coffee shop again if their coffee was watery

[–] doingthestuff@lemmy.world 11 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I don't think it was a coffee shop. Actually a lot of restaurants do this. Some people can't have caffeine and they'd rather not risk accidentally serving them the wrong thing when they order decaf.

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 5 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I'm mostly fine with caffeine but if I drink those energy drinks I get really ill, it's weird. I can down espressos wouldn't have a problem, but there's something in the energy drinks that make me ill.

[–] Riven@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 3 months ago

Probably one of those caffeine replacements they use. What's the big one? Tourine or something.

[–] alnitak@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago

They generally have quite a few other things in them that could make you feel sick. Like a ton of b vitamins and various herbs. It could also be you react badly to the sweeteners in it.

[–] pjwestin@lemmy.world 17 points 3 months ago

I've never heard of a Café doing this, but I know a lot of wedding caterers will, especially toward the end of an event. It's safer to have people who've been drinking just get tired and leave rather than get some caffeine in them and get a second wind. Plus, it's easier to just brew one type of coffee, and while caffeine could be dangerous for someone with a heart condition, no one ever dropped dead from decaf.

[–] wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 9 points 3 months ago
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