this post was submitted on 04 Nov 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] Irremarkable@fedia.io 249 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Anon discovers eating healthy and exercising.

[–] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 44 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Don't forget the beard.

The beard hides an ugly jaw, I know from experience.

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 26 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

I try to improve the days of strangers by offering compliments that (hopefully) clearly have no ulterior motive. The two easiest ways I've found to do this are a. Offer the compliment in passing so that it is obvious I'm not asking for anything as a follow-up because I've already walked away and b. Compliment things that took time, effort or courage (like an elaborate hairstyle or colorful makeup).

Metaphorically speaking as a man with a beard, I appreciate men with beards because the man in question is often very pleased with his beard and, in most cases, took time to develop it. Therefore, it's nearly universally a safe thing to compliment. I've never once complimented a beard and not gotten a grin and at least brief conversation as a result. Sometimes I'll even get a brotherly slap on the back.

Maybe OP got a lot of - or even a few - compliments on his beard, regardless of the state of his jaw, and it boosted his ego.

[–] Dagwood222@lemm.ee 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)

The best non-creepy way I've found to compliment a random woman is "That's a great look."

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago

I usually just talk about something very unlikely to sound predatory or sexual. "I like your hair," things like that. Hair is one I bring up frequently also because one can usually tell whether a lot of effort was made; as I mentioned, I think complimenting something that involved effort is more impactful than just random, possibly meaningless things about the person.

For example, I don't usually say anything about clothes (on men or women) unless there's something particularly striking about them; recently I saw a woman wearing a shirt expressing a political opinion that is not popular in this area (but with which I agreed) and complimented her on it because it seemed like it probably took courage to wear. However, I wouldn't comment on someone wearing a plain white tee.

I have learned that I don't necessarily always enunciate properly and therefore should say "I like your shoes" rather than "I like your boots."

[–] vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works 2 points 10 months ago

As a man with a somewhat shorter full beard, though not thin by any means. I take a decent bit of pride in it cause even in its most dhaggy state it requires a decent bit of maintenance with grooming to keep it from ingrowing and knotting.

So yeah any compliment is appreciated keep up the good work.

[–] mnemonicmonkeys@sh.itjust.works 1 points 10 months ago

So long as the beard isn't also ugly

[–] Etterra@lemmy.world 108 points 10 months ago (1 children)

He's not really committing until he starts spending his summers at war against a neighboring Polis.

[–] smokinliver@sopuli.xyz 44 points 10 months ago (1 children)

...together with his gay lover

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 13 points 10 months ago

And possibly being paid by Persians

[–] FreshLight@sh.itjust.works 97 points 10 months ago

Greekmaxing

[–] Deadeyegai@lemmy.world 50 points 10 months ago

But there is quite nothing like sunning your freshly shorn scrote.

[–] kittenzrulz123@lemmy.blahaj.zone 33 points 10 months ago

Fake: Annon took inspiration from the Greeks by being fit

Gay: Annon took inspiration from the Greeks by being extremely gay

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.ml 28 points 10 months ago (3 children)
[–] Taalen@lemmy.world 37 points 10 months ago

If it's the only thing you drink, price adds up fast.

[–] iheartneopets@lemm.ee 25 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Ancient wine was actually not very good

[–] vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works 2 points 10 months ago (1 children)

It was potent though, had to water it down.

[–] figjam@midwest.social 1 points 10 months ago

Adding dirty water to clean booze is gross

[–] jol@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 10 months ago

OP forgot to take inflation into account.

[–] manuallybreathing@lemmy.ml 22 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 25 points 10 months ago (1 children)

How bout I take a propa ganda at them honkers

[–] manuallybreathing@lemmy.ml 4 points 10 months ago

Disgusting.

[–] NakariLexfortaine@lemm.ee 16 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I initially misread "garlic" as "garum" and immediately felt bad for the neighbors.

[–] TimewornTraveler@lemm.ee 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

fermented fish sauce right?

[–] NakariLexfortaine@lemm.ee 3 points 10 months ago

That was banned from being made within the city walls from the smell.

[–] pinkystew@reddthat.com 9 points 10 months ago (3 children)

why is "interest from women" the last item? anon claims Greek lifestyle but ignores that the ancient Greeks normalized homosexual behavior? .

It's a funny meme but it reeks of ignorance and entitlement.

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 44 points 10 months ago (2 children)

So you're saying OP is ignorant and entitled because he didn't choose to be gay?

Normalization of homosexual behaviour doesn't imply heterosexual behaviour was non-existent. Helen of Troy was known for her beauty, not her lack of cock.

Also, the Greeks still exist today, so at least some of them were into women.

[–] mnemonicmonkeys@sh.itjust.works 17 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Helen of Troy was known for her beauty, not her lack of cock.

Rule34 is rapidly approaching your location

[–] Fox@pawb.social 9 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Does futanari count as rule 63 or is it its own thing?

[–] Fox@pawb.social 6 points 10 months ago

I think Rule 63 is just gender-swapping

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 2 points 10 months ago

So you're saying OP is ignorant and entitled because he didn't choose to be gay?

I am.

[–] Flocklesscrow@lemm.ee 19 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Because they were already enjoying the interest from men?

[–] Goldmage263@sh.itjust.works 1 points 10 months ago

Exactly. The OP did normalize it. There wasn't a notable difference.

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 12 points 10 months ago

It's because it's fake and gay

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world -2 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Cuck Carlson suns his tiny balls.

[–] Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 28 points 10 months ago (1 children)

LOL GUYS HE BROUGHT UP POLITICS

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 6 points 10 months ago

It’s insane that ball sunning is political but here we are.