tf is my skull gonna do with a fitbit?
Not The Onion
Welcome
We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!
The Rules
Posts must be:
- Links to news stories from...
- ...credible sources, with...
- ...their original headlines, that...
- ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”
Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.
And that’s basically it!
It's useful for keeping track of your mental gymnastics.
Brilliant. Purchasing now.
Well, there's obviously nothing inside their skulls anyway 😜.
This timeline sucks.
Just wait until everyone's required to get one of these as a condition of employment for most jobs. By the time enough people get pissed off enough about it to try to do something, it'll be too late.
Drug free workplace act? That's old news how about a free will-free workplace.
This is some anti-vax level bullshit.
Oh ffs no near timeline is going to require literal brain surgery for a condition of employment. Why the hell would they want you to be able to look at porn while you work?
What the fuck is wrong with people?
Neuralink said in a blog post that it was looking for people who had paralysis in all four limbs because of a spinal-cord injury or amyotrophic lateral sclerosis.
Not sure how I feel about this. On the one hand, these people are willing to take a risk in order to overcome difficult conditions, and that should be allowed. On the other hand, it feels like Neuralink is preying on their hopes.
If the company figurehead wasn't a libertarian billionaire edgelord, I might look past that second hand. No chance of that, though. He's going to kill people, and then he's going to retweet memes about it.
Wasn't there a report about dozens of dead monkeys from animal trials a few months ago?
I dont think they reached dozens, but yes this is the same project that had dead monkey headlines rolling around
Not just dead, lot's of suffering beforehand. Those were some nauseating stories.
I've read a lot of disturbing stuff on the internet but those descriptions of what the monkeys endured made me feel really uncomfortable
"Think about how dumb the average person is. Now, realize that half of them are dumber than that."
-
- George Carlin
*the median person