this post was submitted on 13 Nov 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] AsudoxDev@programming.dev 10 points 6 days ago (1 children)

"runs out the door"

why? why would people run out the door at someone commiting suicide?

[–] noli@lemmy.zip 14 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Maybe to go find someone with medical training who can potentially help?

[–] AsudoxDev@programming.dev 2 points 6 days ago

At least one person would stay

[–] Canadian_Cabinet@lemmy.ca 170 points 1 week ago (2 children)

In middle school I had a friend who would get nosebleeds fairly often. I don't remember exactly why nor how, but we somehow got into an argument with this really religious kid who was a little shit. So like the next day he felt a nosebleed coming and ran over to the kid and said "Hail Satan" and exhaled hard to make a ton of blood come out. Well the kid fainted and my friend got detention for the day

[–] dditty@lemm.ee 43 points 1 week ago

That's amazing 🤣

[–] Nythos@sh.itjust.works 19 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] Robust_Mirror@aussie.zone 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Could they have stolen the story? Yes. But they could have equally had a similar experience, it's not that implausible. I've known people that have nose bleeds like that, it's not some incredibly rare condition, and saying hail Satan is the kind of thing tons of edgy kids/teens would do.

Things can happen more than once.

[–] Ziglin@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

I did something similar to my mother. Except I came downstairs with blood all over my face and hands (I hadn't found a tissue yet) and then tried acting like a zombie. I thought it was hilarious. She was shocked but got over it pretty quickly.

[–] Sanctus@lemmy.world 76 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Ah, the fear of consequences after a good prank at school. I drew a dick on a whiteboard once, also in seventh grade.

[–] radix@lemmy.world 55 points 1 week ago (3 children)

That's going to go on your Permanent Record!!

[–] Pyro@programming.dev 1 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Never gonna live it down now @Sanctus

[–] metaStatic@kbin.earth 20 points 1 week ago

Ah, you got the stink lines and everything

[–] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 1 week ago

Actually it will go into the dry erase record

[–] FreshLight@sh.itjust.works 43 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

*Student shows signs of severe depression*

*gets suspended from school*

Even if it was a joke, this is some "Tell me you're from the US without telling me you're from the US" type shit

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 1 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

The showing signs of depression was part of the prank (and all you can get from this greentext is he shouted "I can't take it anymore" before cracking his neck). Getting suspended after learning it was a joke and he was not really in danger seems fairly logical here. You don't joke about that shit and it was also extremely disruptive to class.

[–] KeenFlame@feddit.nu 0 points 5 days ago (1 children)

The slay rates of children in education houses is not the problem, the... Jokes? Are.. . Ye. Ye ye ye. Congrats on your country that works for you. Yewow. Great. Yes. It's that. It's that this guy made a joke and wow ye it works so great to have hyper capitalism as a god and ruler it works so great

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 1 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

You seem to be confusing a totally different issue for the situation in the post here. Do you genuinely think a kid pranking a suicide that disrupts the class doesn't deserve punishment because other kids completely removed from this particular scenario might actually be depressed and suicidal? Because that's asinine.

[–] KeenFlame@feddit.nu 0 points 5 days ago

Then I am that. I think the slaying of the children due to their extreme hate environment is problematic

[–] Mr_Blott@feddit.uk 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It was the

during choir

WTF

After school programs anyone?

[–] M137@lemmy.world 30 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Would be funnier if he accidentally made himself quadriplegic and was just lying there in terror as everyone else was laughing and it took a good while before someone realised.

[–] Jax@sh.itjust.works 34 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Idk if we agree on what 'funnier' means.

Well, it's fake either way, might as well chuckle at some black humor.

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

And he was still suspended

[–] CascadianGiraffe@lemmy.world 3 points 6 days ago

Well yeah, how else would he get around?

[–] don@lemm.ee 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Reminds me of the British comedian who had a heart attack on stage and died, while the audience laughed, thinking it was all just an act. Cant remember his name, but at least he died doing what he loved.

[–] Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk 4 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

Tommy Cooper. A bit old school these days but a funny guy. He specialised in doing magic tricks badly for comedic effect, so when he died people really thought it was part of the show.

Here's a classic: Spoon jar jar spoon.

[–] don@lemm.ee 2 points 6 days ago

Yep, that’s him!

[–] pinkystew@reddthat.com 9 points 1 week ago

sounds like fiction. it's just missing "he thought to himself,"

[–] WILSOOON@programming.dev 5 points 1 week ago

God that i hilariozs, i tried to to a similar thing in the final exam but my crack juices weren't flowing sadly

[–] SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org 0 points 1 week ago

Wh.. what if you really can't take it anymore?