this post was submitted on 14 Nov 2024
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Here’s Why I Decided To Buy ‘InfoWars’ By Bryce P. Tetraeder, Global Tetrahedron CEO ☞ https://theonion.com/heres-why-i-decided-to-buy-infowars/

And let me say, I really do see it as a family. Much like family members, our brands are abstract nodes of wealth, interchangeable assets for their patriarch to absorb and discard according to the opaque whims of the market. And just like family members, our brands regard one another with mutual suspicion and malice.

🤣

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[–] lightscription@lemmy.world 15 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Great idea. Who didn't like the Colbert Report? Could turn out like a right-wing populist Repor!

But he's got a serious side. You know what those globalists are doing...

[–] Bassman1805@lemmy.world 13 points 5 months ago

Best news I've seen in weeks

[–] crystalmerchant@lemmy.world 13 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Can't wait for Dan and Jordan to cover this

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[–] gmtom@lemmy.world 13 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Do they have rights to use Jones' likeness, in the sense of reposting old clips and the like?

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[–] undergroundoverground@lemmy.world 13 points 5 months ago

Its also exactly the kind of thing you'd expect to read about in the onion.

This is beyond mear irony.

[–] schnurrito@discuss.tchncs.de 12 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Wait, what? Which parts of this are satire now? I read the Onion piece that Global Tetrahedron was purchasing InfoWars, but this is a Guardian story saying The Onion is purchasing it? I'm a bit confused.

[–] unyons@feddit.org 15 points 5 months ago

It's not satire, they are purchasing it for real.

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[–] Rivalarrival@lemmy.today 11 points 5 months ago

The Onion buys rightwing conspiracy theory site Infowars with plans to make it ‘very funny, very stupid’

They're halfway there already.

[–] Masamune@lemmy.world 10 points 5 months ago

This should be good...

[–] PennyRoyal@sh.itjust.works 10 points 5 months ago

I mean, it’s already half way there, all they got to do is make it funny

[–] grue@lemmy.world 10 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Does this mean they're Alex Jones's boss now?

[–] PyroNeurosis@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Makes sense. They keep him contained somewhere to ramble, while appropriately inducted and vetted comedians interpret, neutralize and transmit his bullshit and make it funny.

An oracle of comedy situation.

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[–] MoonManKipper@lemmy.world 9 points 5 months ago

That pushed me over the edge to subscribe to the print edition

[–] finitebanjo@lemmy.world 9 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Next week's headlines "Alex Jones appointed as Secretary of State" or some other wackass shit.

[–] bestboyfriendintheworld@sh.itjust.works 11 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Press secretary would be perfect.

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[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 8 points 5 months ago (2 children)

I thought that was a joke. But regular news sites are running the story. So maybe it's real?

[–] Evotech@lemmy.world 15 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

It's real. Their new owner is very rich and doesn't give a fuck

[–] nokturne213@sopuli.xyz 14 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I saw a TikTok of Alex crying about it. It is real.

[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 10 points 5 months ago

That's really amazing. Their joke article was hilarious even as a joke. But the fact that they really bought it is beautiful.

[–] SocialMediaRefugee@lemmy.world 7 points 5 months ago

How could you tell the difference?

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