this post was submitted on 09 Dec 2023
318 points (100.0% liked)

Idiots of Marketplace

641 readers
1 users here now

For the delusional, idiotic, weird or funny online marketplace posts.

founded 11 months ago
MODERATORS
 
all 33 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 72 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I like the idea that the best advice Jesus could give is "keep on truckin" lol

[–] kautau@lemmy.world 14 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Sometimes Jesus takes the wheel and sometimes he hands it back to you so you don’t run your truck off the road

[–] CM400@lemmy.world 6 points 11 months ago

I used to sign bibles in hotel rooms with that exact phrase. This one is definitely not one of mine, though.

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago

That's a good advice, but my favorite is "love thy neighbor".

[–] xantoxis@lemmy.world 18 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Shit yeah, let's go get that bitch authenticated. Worth it just to see wtf they do for that part

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 17 points 11 months ago

Authenticator: This does indeed appear to have been signed by Jesus Gonzalez, who works at Walmart with the seller.

[–] suodrazah@lemmy.world 13 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Ah yes, let me sign this book about my future.

Keep on truckin'. 100% legit.

[–] DarkThoughts@kbin.social 8 points 11 months ago (2 children)

In modern English, using the Latin alphabet.

[–] nightofmichelinstars@sopuli.xyz 6 points 11 months ago

With a ballpoint pen

[–] threelonmusketeers@sh.itjust.works 3 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (2 children)

THE LATIN ALPHABET VVAS AROVND AT THE TIME. VVHETHER IESVS KNEVV ABOVT IT IS A DIFFERENT MATTER, THOVGH HE DID HAVE SOME RVN-INS VVITH THE ROMAN EMPIRE, SO MAYBE?

Modern English and trucks though, definitely not.

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago

He was executed by the Romans. He definitely knew of the Romans.

[–] DarkThoughts@kbin.social 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Technically yes, but if he knew how to write, which is already a highly questionable thing, then it would likely not be in Latin.

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

He spoke Aramaic, but he was Jewish and Jewish people learn Hebrew reading and writing. He was well versed in scripture, so he probably did know how to read. The Bible talks about him spending a lot of time at the temple as a child, where he likely learned to read and write.

[–] DarkThoughts@kbin.social 2 points 11 months ago

The bible also says he performed a bunch of magic tricks, as well as a bunch of other nonsense.

[–] Sabre363@sh.itjust.works 12 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Who is this Jesus, he like a celebrity in Mexico or something?

[–] Teon@kbin.social 6 points 11 months ago

Celebrity? No, he owns a bookstore in Oklahoma. Ask for Jesus Ramirez to get signed copies.

[–] Pons_Aelius@kbin.social 3 points 11 months ago

I think he's a MLB player from Puerto Rico.

[–] theodewere@kbin.social 8 points 11 months ago (1 children)

wtf no Western Union, does this guy even know how the black market signed Jesus bible market works?

[–] oo1@kbin.social 1 points 11 months ago

Maybe they rely on temple-based financial intermediaries or something?

[–] Cosmicomical@kbin.social 7 points 11 months ago

It's also addressed at john wick

[–] Thief_of_Crows@sh.itjust.works 6 points 11 months ago

How exactly does one authenticate that Jesus actually signed it? Also he definitely didn't, it wasn't written until 400 ad or later

[–] pm_me_your_thoughts@lemmy.world 6 points 11 months ago

This post cannot be more American

[–] JackGreenEarth@lemm.ee 5 points 11 months ago

Everyone seems to be assuming they meant Jesus Christ, but it's much more likely an actual modern person called Jesus signed it. (If an actual modern person not called Jesus didn't sign it)

[–] corvid_of_the_night@lemm.ee 5 points 11 months ago

They must have the 3 AD version of the Bible. :P

[–] FatTony@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (3 children)
[–] MBZzZzZzZz@lemmy.world 5 points 11 months ago

Well, trucking is capitalized. So, I guess no.

[–] chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Doubtful. Wasn't great with math, either.

[–] Quetzalcutlass@lemmy.world 6 points 11 months ago

Kept dividing by two and getting double, smh.