this post was submitted on 03 Dec 2024
202 points (99.0% liked)

Not The Onion

12438 readers
1122 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 25 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] xwolpertinger@lemmy.world 2 points 3 hours ago

That's why you go with Krampus, Krampus cares about consensual non-consent

[–] Roflmasterbigpimp@lemmy.world 17 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

Many Germans doesn't even knew about this until recently.

This is some weird ass backward-Island-tradition. Fucking Creeps.

[–] QuantumSparkles@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Roflmasterbigpimp@lemmy.world 1 points 59 minutes ago

I'm much into Warhammer Fantasy lately and thought this is some fucked up Chaos-Ritual-Bullshit.

But yeah thats fits also very good 😂

[–] RootBeerGuy@discuss.tchncs.de 79 points 1 day ago (1 children)

"Are we the baddies?" Ask the people who also forbid any media coverage of their actions.

[–] MajorHavoc@programming.dev 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

"Are we the baddies?" Ask the people who also forbid any media coverage of their actions.

"Muahahahaha!"...

Sorry, a deep resonant haunting laugh is how I cope when faced with a difficult moral conundrum.

(Paraphrased from "Better Off Ted".)

[–] MusketeerX@lemm.ee 3 points 4 hours ago (1 children)
[–] stringere@sh.itjust.works 2 points 46 minutes ago

I need you to weaponize a mouse.
Computer mouse or the animal?
I'll get back to you.

[–] Kazumara@discuss.tchncs.de 51 points 1 day ago

What the fuck, bruises and not being able to sit for a few days. That's way worse than what I envisioned from the beginning of the article.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 65 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I swear we can't have anything nice.

[–] Quacksalber@sh.itjust.works 35 points 1 day ago (1 children)

There was a counter-protest of women from the island to keep that tradition.

[–] ColeSloth@discuss.tchncs.de 9 points 1 day ago

Womens rights don't matter! This is for equality!

[–] sundrei@lemmy.sdf.org 11 points 21 hours ago

Disturbingly, it was because the practice was considered unfair to the cows.

That article was even weirder and creepier than I expected. By a lot.

Also some interesting bits from a different Austrian tradition:

The Krampuses are now encouraged to only symbolically brush festival-goers, and not actually whip them.

[–] TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 31 points 1 day ago (1 children)

You dare to mock the sanctity of the spanking of the fraulein with the cow horn, Ed boys?!

[–] einlander@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago

A Rolf quote in the wild.

[–] kryptonidas@lemmings.world 11 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Very similar to the tradition on the nearby Dutch island of Ameland. Sunneklaas

Must be something in the water.

[–] Unknown1234_5@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago

THIS is what the liberal media wants for america

[–] Kazumara@discuss.tchncs.de 10 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

A centuries-old tradition in Germany's Borkum where young men hit women on the buttocks with a cow horn using cow horn during the Klaasohm festival will be discontinued.

With a cow horn using a cow horn? Sounds like a difficult thing to do, holding a cow horn with another cow horn. I'd have assumed the coefficient of friction would be too low.

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It's just a missing period.

...with a cow horn. Using cow horn during...

[–] Empricorn@feddit.nl 2 points 4 hours ago

And so will the women, after being spanked with a cow horn.

[–] icerunner_origin@startrek.website 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Ok, good first step. When do the prosecutions for physical abuse start?

[–] Lumidaub@feddit.org 13 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

As soon as individual victims dare to report individual perpetrators to the police. In this tiny, tight-knit island community. Where everyone knows everyone.

[–] lichtmetzger@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

The police looked away from this for years, it's insane.

[–] Lumidaub@feddit.org 5 points 4 hours ago

Because they too are members of that community, they too grew up there. Not trying to excuse their inaction, but it all fits the bigger picture.