this post was submitted on 04 Feb 2025
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Not The Onion

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[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 19 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Do we have a c/mallninjashit yet?

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

Okay, at this point it’s the fault of the police for thinking THAT THING is a Samurai sword. It looks too outlandish for Lord of the Rings.

Obviously, the correct way to determine the owner would have been a contest to see who could do the best Final Fantasy cosplay.

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago (2 children)

A Samurai sword in Oregon? In the possession of a couple of middle-aged (and probably white) dudes? Bet you lunch it’s a replica.

[–] SolOrion@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 year ago

Replica gives it entirely too much credit. It was probably made in China last year out of stainless steel.

[–] SquiffSquiff@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

A lot of 'samurai swords' in media are really just machetes frankly. The linked article describes

Gus Lawrence admitted to using his feet to bend his brother’s “prized samurai sword” into an L-shape while trying to break it, according to a bail memo.

Yeah it's mall ninja kit.

[–] SolOrion@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The two brothers lived with their mother, Elinor Markgraf, a former humor columnist for The Oregonian. She declined to comment.

That they even asked for a comment is fuckin awful, imo.

[–] deegeese@sopuli.xyz 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Asking family members for comment seems like pretty standard reporting.

[–] SolOrion@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 year ago

That it's standard- and for most stories I'd say expected and perhaps even necessary- doesn't change that it's awful in this context.

[–] Stern@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Without a picture I can't say explicitly but I'd bet it wasn't Hattori Hanzo's finest work, folded a thousand times and all that.

[–] jordanlund@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago

1,001 times, but that last fold, man...

One's in the morgue and the other's in jail

Shoulda kept 'em separated.

[–] deegeese@sopuli.xyz 5 points 1 year ago

Keep Portland Weird?

[–] ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net 3 points 1 year ago

Live by the sword, die by the sword.