this post was submitted on 15 Apr 2025
172 points (93.0% liked)

Not The Onion

15878 readers
2222 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
all 20 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] apfelwoiSchoppen@lemmy.world 27 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Harder to write an article saying that people aren't buying things I guess.

[–] PP_BOY_@lemmy.world 13 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

That would bea very bad thing to say, you see. You know how, dispite "supply chain issues," grocery stores have been pulling record profits recently?

Anecdote incoming:

My local grocery store is marking down eggs -30% and (presumably) throwing ones out that don't sell. Nobody is buying $7 cartons, they're just taking it off their grocery lists and finding substitutes

[–] fullsquare@awful.systems 19 points 3 days ago

decisive belarusian cultural victory

[–] toy_boat_toy_boat@lemmy.world 14 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Canadian here. Government-funded news source cited. Obvious propaganda. Adorable, really.

[–] avidamoeba@lemmy.ca -5 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Commie Broadcasting Corporation

[–] toy_boat_toy_boat@lemmy.world 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)

i disagree. CBC is essential. real news programming is - by design - an expenditure, not a profit. the CBC is under constant scrutiny, and it conducts itself as such. i don't see how the CBC is "Commie", as you say.

[–] avidamoeba@lemmy.ca 6 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

I'm joking. I thought you're joking when you said it's gov't propaganda so I continued in the same vein. :D

I'm an absolute supporter or "a friend of CBC" and I'm doing everything I can to stop Poilievre from killing it. We desperately need a Canadian gov't funded news media in the current media climate.

[–] toy_boat_toy_boat@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

you little rascal

edit - shouldn't you be out there distributing subversive buttons?

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 2 days ago

Great depression vibes

[–] bratorange@feddit.org 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)

From the German onion equivalent:

Vegan egg alternative: More and more families are painting potatoes for Easter

Munich (dpo) - Vegan is also very trendy at Easter: according to a new survey, more and more families are painting potatoes instead of eggs over the holidays. The treats, known as vegan Easter eggs or Easter potatoes, are then hidden or used as decorations.

"Traditions are very important to people. But unfortunately, Easter eggs are not vegan," explains nutritionist Anja Hohendorf. "Easter potatoes are a welcome alternative. They are largely egg-shaped, stable, can be painted and can be eaten."

Raw potatoes are usually used as they are the easiest to paint. But cooked potatoes are also popular because children can snack on them as soon as they find them.

To make decorative Easter potatoes, it is best to poke a hole in the top and bottom of a raw potato and then blow it out. However, you need very strong lungs for this. You can then paint the empty potato skin brightly and use it to decorate bushes, for example.

Unlike eggs, raw Easter potatoes should not be hidden outside in the garden, as they quickly start to germinate when exposed to sunlight. The cellar is a better place to look for them.

Children who prefer sweet to savory can be given marzipan potatoes - also completely vegan.

Source: https://www.der-postillon.com/2024/03/osterkartoffeln.html

[–] Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

Fuck. Imagine actually blowing out a potato. Who has such industrial hydraulic press level pressure generating lungs?

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 5 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Why not chocolate covered onions this year?

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] Hideakikarate@sh.itjust.works 6 points 3 days ago

Chocolate covered fried onions?

[–] jimbolauski@lemm.ee 1 points 2 days ago

The nantional average for egg prices peaked in late February at $8.17 a dozen, current prices are $3.12 a dozen. A dozen eggs in LA are currently $6.30 which is high but they banned the sale of caged chicken eggs so the disparity is understandable.

[–] huppakee@lemm.ee 3 points 3 days ago

Hope they use some serious chemicals cause I once made stamps with potato and I swear there was more ink inside then on the outside of the patato. Would like to see those decorated potatoes once they start growing roots.

[–] arrow74@lemm.ee 1 points 2 days ago

Time for a drink....

[–] Letsdothisok@lemmy.world -1 points 2 days ago

Isn't this stupid? No one paints actual eggs anymore anyway.

I don't have to even open the article to know it's going to have political opinions all over. I'm sure it will mention Trump negatively, directly or indirectly blaming him somewhere.

Ok, i just skimmed it, and it's a Canadian source/author, so immediately political and comparisons being made.

This article uses the supposed story of "people are painting potatoes(and other things) because eggs are expensive." OK, cheap/creative people have been doing that forever. You hide plastic eggs cuz you put candy inside. You don't hide real cooked/uncooked eggs. Or potatoes or marshmallows.

The story this article is selling reads between the lines. The articles headlines are deceiving as such. It's trying to sell you something, and you're probably buying it.