this post was submitted on 02 Jul 2025
407 points (98.3% liked)

Not The Onion

17168 readers
1822 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
all 27 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Lupo@lemmy.world 84 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I'd pay money to watch an ICE agent try to put a hat on an alligator

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 28 points 1 week ago (1 children)

What? That's crazy talk! How could you watch that.....without popcorn???

POPCORN! GET'CHER POPCORN HERE! CAN'T WATCH A FASCIST MEET HIS END WITHOUT DELICIOUS BUTTERY SALTY POPCORN!

They did say they'd pay so presumably there'd be some production value to the affair. I'm seeing a Roman theme, along the lines of "Christians to the lions".

[–] MangoCats@feddit.it 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Photo made with AI, and that's not Alligator Intelligence.

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

Still. Both Lupo and I would pay money to see them try and put a hat on a gator.

[–] andros_rex@lemmy.world 37 points 1 week ago (2 children)

If you have ever thought about what you would do during Nazi Germany, it is whatever you are doing now.

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] aceshigh@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

Holly shit. Cheers.

[–] Bebopalouie@lemmy.ca 35 points 1 week ago

Alligator Auschwitz

[–] GrumpyDuckling@sh.itjust.works 32 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Wouldn't work because alligators brains are too big to work for ICE.

[–] AmbiguousProps@lemmy.today 16 points 1 week ago

They also aren't ashamed or scared to show their faces.

[–] Zier@fedia.io 27 points 1 week ago

So the lizard people (republicans) are finally going to shed their 'human' skin and reveal themselves?

[–] renzhexiangjiao@piefed.blahaj.zone 25 points 1 week ago (1 children)

well that's an insult to the alligators. I doubt they want to have anything to do with those nazis

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 3 days ago

alligators are remarkably non-violent for being obligate carnivores

[–] Lupus@feddit.org 14 points 1 week ago

So predatory, stealthy until they strike, pretty brainless, mostly instinct driven, fierce to brutal, dangerous, opportunistic to the point they would eat their own kind if convenient, unpredictable and most importantly - famously resistant to change or growth. Seems oddly self aware...

[–] foggy@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

A fraction of your tax dollars went to finding and paying the employee who would ultimately create this image on the clock.

[–] JeeBaiChow@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

Yeah but we saved Gaza! Only we didn't.

[–] skuzz@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 1 week ago

And a fraction of Earth's habitability for the power wasted.

[–] saltesc@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Hugo Boss did much better uniforms.

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 week ago

This was Hugo Bass, from the fish and wildlife dept.

[–] bizzle@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago

Why are these alligators better identified than real ice

[–] SnarkoPolo@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

This is shaping up to be Holocaust 2.0.

[–] XTL@sopuli.xyz 6 points 1 week ago
[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 week ago

Let's say hypothetically that these detention centers actually were humane and actually needed. They're not, they're concentration camps and just a precursor to death camps, but let's pretend for a second that all that is well, these are just nice facilities for immigrants to wait until they go back to their vacation spot...

Even with that, this fucking oist is still disgusting and insane, and it comes from a government account.

[–] ArchmageAzor@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

Now what did Homer Landscriby mean by this?